Gonna be some changes ’round here
With Guardian now a pile of gristle on the table (GAH! That is MAHOGANY!), the Authority undergoes some drastic and immediate policy changes: Russell, claiming to be a born-again Sanguinista, is officially welcomed into the inner circle, and Salome reveals herself to be the traitor who freed Russ from his concrete prison.
The reason for this evangelical takeover isn’t totally clear (something something enough vampire blood has been spilled, praise Lilith?), but Nora breathlessly implores Eric and Bill to join the cause; Eric, in response, calls her a very bad word. And he’d better be careful, because despite a near-universal turnaround on the part of the Chancellors, with people praising Lilith left and right, this isn’t a group that takes dissent well…as we see when Dieter Braun complains about their blasphemous plan to drink the blood of Lilith, and Russell casually rips his head off. Literally. (Bye, Christopher Heyerdahl! See you in “Breaking Dawn”!)
“What’s going to happen when they drink the blood of Lilith?” asks Bill, watching as the new and improved Authority cracks the seal on the ancient vial.
“Nothing,” Eric says, all confidence.
Wrong again, Eric! Actually, it turns out that the blood of Lilith is like LSD mixed with ecstasy for the befanged—and Bill and Eric are right there, high as kites, as the group stumbles out into the New Orleans night, crashes a private karaoke party and gorges on the blood of the innocent. And if you were wondering when the mysterious Lilith might make her appearance, wonder no more: the vampire deity emerges from a pool of blood, naked and roaring, as the awestruck group doubles down on its feeding frenzy.
And she’s not the only surprise guest at this killing party — as Eric looks up from his feeding frenzy and comes face-to-face with Godric, who is not angry, but very, very disappointed.
This week’s episode brought a revelation for the frustrated Sookie: those faerie powers of her? Actually not unlimited! Turns out, Sook’s half-blood status means that her abilities won’t last forever—and Claude warns her that her faerie-juice fuel tank is already running low. What he doesn’t realize: Sookie doesn’t want her powers anymore, and will take this as a cue to go home and start throwing light bombs around her yard in an effort to get rid of ’em for good.
And she’s not the only one who’s had it up to here with the supernatural shizz: Jason, still tormented by the truth about his parents’ deaths, goes looking for comfort in Jessica’s arms…but freaks out when he realizes that she’s been feeding on some anonymous dude upstairs. The nature of the misunderstanding becomes pretty clear, pretty fast (“Do you know the name of every cow you eat?” she snarls; Jason yells, “I’ve never had sex with a cow!”), but that doesn’t stop things from getting ugly. Jess bites Jason! Jason shoots Jess! And their nascent relationship ends as so many seem to these days: with blood all over the wallpaper.
All sewn up
Trouble is still brewing for just about everyone in Bon Temps—between Tara’s family conflicts, Alcide’s karate-kidding in preparation for his pack takeover and Terry getting chuckled at and not murdered by the vengeful Ifrit—but it looks like at least one plotline is wrapping itself up: Lafayette, in a moment of epic stupidity, goes alone to Don Bartolo’s house in Mexico, where he walks through darkened rooms shouting “¿Hola?” until he finds himself face to face with a gun (Don Bartolo’s) and a severed head (Jesus’).
Turns out that Don wants the brujo magic back for his unborn child, a process which involves sadistic acts of needlework and a very large knife. But just when it looks like Laf is about to follow in the footsteps of Jesus, Don’s pregnant girlfriend decides to register a complaint about the whole process…by stabbing the father of her child a few dozen times and then freeing his would-be victim. Does this mean the end of Laf’s painted head of horrors?
What do you think: Is the manwitch plotline officially dunzo? Will Sookie regret depleting her faerie powers? Is Eric going to take on Russell? Sound off in the comments and on Twitter!