The episode opened with Marnie moving her things out of the apartment she shared with Hannah and holing up temporarily with Shoshanna. Hannah wondered who would replace Marnie, and boyfriend Adam unexpectedly offered his services. More on that to come.
Despite her unease with “word alerts,” Jessa seemed to have perfected the finer art of the mass text, as she demanded all of her friends attend the most important party of her life. As we soon discovered, the surprise party was actually a wedding. And the groom? Well, it’s none other than Thomas John, the guy whom Jessa and Marnie almost had a threesome with. Yep. Yep. Apparently they reunited and she fell for his talk of finance and travel, and she vowed to spend the rest of her life loving him. The show of sentiment moved Adam so much that he got a little misty-eyed.
But his romantical mood wasn’t to be for long.
Hannah ran into former boyfriend Elijah at the reception, and not only did he admit to giving Hannah HPV, but he agreed to move in to her spare room. I mean, they both have HPV already. How convenient! But when Hannah told Adam about her new roomie, he was outraged. He loved her and wanted to be with her. He hadn’t agreed to move in out of obligation. Adam had fallen hard, and Hannah just didn’t understand.
The spur-of-the-moment ceremony left Shoshanna out of sorts, especially since she had unwittingly committed the cardinal wedding faux pas of wearing white. Ray, her one-time crack spirit guide, attempted to console her, eventually admitting that he was totally smitten with her, strange vibrations and all. He wanted to go home with her that night. And she agreed, but only if he stayed out of her emotional way. But once the two were under the sheets and the subject of Shoshanna’s virginity came up, it looked as though Ray might not be up for the task, seeing as it would be a lot of power to essentially teach someone how to get it on. But Ray fancies himself, if nothing else, a powerful guy, so he met the challenge head on.
Marnie was in a weird mood too, running into ex Charlie at the ceremony and joking about having sex in the bathroom. Or were they joking? It looked, however, like it would be the kooky officiant (played by Bobby Moynihan), whom Marnie would go home with.
Things didn’t get any better for Hannah and Adam as she followed him outside to discuss their relationship. Adam stood in the middle of the street as they argued, and, as you may have seen coming, was hit by a van—a cheap trick that felt unnecessary. He refused to let Hannah accompany him in the ambulance to the hospital, and instead of calling a cab to meet him there, she got on the subway and headed for home. Except, she fell asleep, had her purse snatched and woke up at the end of the line in Coney Island, where she wandered onto the beach and noshed on a piece of leftover wedding cake.
What did you think of last night’s “Girls”? Will Jessa’s marriage last? Are Hannah and Adam over? Do you want to see more of Shoshanna next season? Sound off in the comments and on Twitter!