by Jessica Marshall
Warning: This week's "Girls" may turn you off of ice cream.
As Hanna and Adam's budding relationship develops, he casually reveals to her that he does not “do” ice cream, because “it's like sweet mucus.” And then they proceed to slobber all over an ice cream cone together. Ew.
But what's not gross for once, is their actual relationship. It seems like it's starting to head to legitsville. This week's episode opens with a serious bonding session at Hanna's place that includes watching old home movies of Adam as a child (followed, of course, by loud and slightly disturbing sex that references those home videos and that thankfully, we don't actually see), a quick run around the block that proves Hanna is terribly out of shape and a joint venture to the tech rehearsal of Adam's new play. It's more than they've done together in the last seven episodes combined.
Meanwhile, Marnie continues her downward post-Charlie spiral by stalking his Facebook page, scoffing unconvincingly at the photos he posted of his trip to Italy with the new girlfriend. During a brief break for a breath of air, she encounters the lovey-dovey Hanna and Adam, who dispense advice to her like they're an old married couple. "I know who I am. I do what makes me feel good,” Adam tells the depressed Marnie, who's clearly still disturbed at hearing the two having sex through the walls of her bedroom earlier that morning.
One make-out session later, Adam is on stage at a small cabaret theater, practicing his monologue while Hanna watches with rapt attention. Finally, we see this guy “acting.” And by acting, we mean describing the awkward sex he had as a 15-year-old that's strangely endearing but also discomforting. At its conclusion, his scene partner comes on stage and truly botches a joke, which prompts Adam to deliver an impromptu monologue admonishing his wayward scene partner for being too afraid to be honest with his performance. “Don't be afraid that if they're not laughing, that they're not feeling,” he says, before unceremoniously quitting and storming out of the theater.
Hanna follows, acting the part of the concerned soul-mate, trying to make him reconsider the hasty decision to quit. "Not everyone gets it on the first try," she tells him. "Sometimes you have to teach them." It's another very honest moment for the couple, though it is interrupted by a string of obscenities Adam throws at a the driver of a car that almost hits them. They retreat back to Adam's apartment, where he seems to regress back to his old, stained, onesie-wearing habits.
Back at Hanna and Marnie's apartment, Jessa shows up complaining of burning thighs and her recent joblessness. She and Marnie get their frustrations out by complaining about Hanna, and bond over their shared disdain for her nasty habit of never washing her forehead. The two, who previously had nothing in common except for a mutual friendship with Hanna, are starting to understand each other. Marnie reveals that she hates being uptight and that she's never been more miserable in her life. "It's working," Jessa tells her.
They end up taking their bitch-session to a bar that night, where a reasonably attractive businessman (Chris O'Dowd of "Bridesmaids" fame) buys them drinks, and invites them back to his place. Marnie, who is trying to be less inhibited, is instantly on board, but Jessa gets the creeper vibe. They end up lying on the rug his posh Brooklyn pad, where Marnie takes the initiative and starts making out...with Jessa. It gets pretty passionate, actually! But when the creeper tries to interlope, he gets brutally rebuffed. That sends him into a tailspin monologue that begins with horror at red wine spilled on this $10,000 carpet and ends with "I wanna be balls deep in something!" Completely weirded out, Jessa and Marnie get the heck out of dodge.
Speaking of weirded out, Hanna is still recuperating from a surprise shower attack from Adam that began with applying conditioner for her split ends and ending with the singular act of him peeing on her. In the middle of the night, she wakes up to Adam's insistence on going outside. She follows him out to the same street corner (still in her onesie) where he went off on the driver after his play rehearsal, to find that he has posted hundreds of paper signs that read, "sorry." Sorry to her, sorry to the driver, sorry for being a total douche. Oh, and by the way, he's not quitting the play after all. It's a sweet moment in only a way that Adam can be sweet...like sweet mucousy ice cream.
The episode passes without a word about Shoshanna, leaving us to wonder if her accidental crack usage in the previous episode has turned into a major, like, addiction.
What did you think of last night's "Girls"? Sound off in the comments and on Twitter!