by Cassie Title
Say it with me, friends: filler. That's basically all last night's "Vampire Diaries" episode was. Filler, filler, filler. Maybe if we chant fuller, fuller, fuller, next week will be just that. Can anyone say fuller in Latin? Perhaps a witchy spell might help? Where’s Bonnie when you need her?
That would be helping her deadbeat ex-witch, newly turned vampire mom, Abby, transition into her new life. Which, if I may be honest, was a lost cause from the beginning. Abby seemed like she’d be a cool character to learn about, but for now, if she stays gone, I’m just gonna say I told you so: once a dead-beat runaway mom, always a dead-beat runaway mom. If you leave your actual child and then your pseudo-son, Jamie, which you did, despite Caroline’s protests, you’re kind of just a waste of space, a filler plot line in the Mystic Falls life, if you will.
And speaking of Caroline, I love how she’s become the voice of reason on this show! Remember when she sucked? Man, Vampire Barbie rocks!
So, important things from this episode. Let’s talk about it.
1. "Ric, the world can’t stop just because you’re an accidental psycho killer." Wise words from Damon, at what I think is the Wickery Bridge Rededication ceremony or something. This is because it seems that Ric truly is the accidental psycho killer. In fact, it doesn’t seem that way, it is that way. I know this because at one point Ric goes crazy on Meredith, asking her if she ever feels remorse, because the council’s supposed to protect people from vampires, and they’re all just chilling, ignoring their responsibilities. This was paraphrasing, just to let you know. And then he chased her up the stairs and she had to stab him with a nail scissor and lock herself in the bathroom just to escape his murdering ways. Oh, and in his files, there was a note to Jeremy, telling him that he has the ring, and he has to finish “their work,” which can only start once the council was cleansed. Thus, the murders make sense: the medical examiner covered up the vampire deaths, Bill was on the council, Meredith (who’s OK but injured) is on the council, and even Alaric’s on the council, accounting for his attack on himself. Now, if we learn more about Samantha Gilbert and what’s actually going on with this ring, I’ll be all set.
2. Sage! I was psyched, and I still kind of am, sort of. Sage returned for the Wickery Bridge Rededication, and the timing seemed ominous, for sure. Damon was still trying to figure out how to kill the Originals, which was strange, because I kind of forgot about why that’s important, but whatever. I also forgot that they were still linked, which is super-important, and I’m hitting myself now because WHO DOES THAT? Anyway, Sage helped Damon figure out what Rebekah’s was up to. This resulted in a plan that included heavy drinking, sexy dancing and, well, sex. Sage can apparently touch someone and see into her soul, or more specifically her mind, which she did by touching a very relaxed and asleep Rebekah’s hair, and then taking off her shirt and walking into a steamy shower. I’m not exactly sure why taking off her shirt and the shower was necessary, but Damon followed. She was able to tell Damon that Rebekah’s looking for the white oak tree. How did she convey the message? By kissing him and giving him access to Rebekah’s memories. Pretty cool vampire power, if I do say so myself. So Damon was all psyched and used his family’s records to find the tree, and Sage agreed to help him kill Rebekah as long as he let Finn and her walk off into the sunset. Because, oh yeah, Finn is Sage’s one true love. You know, the creepy Norman Bates one who volunteered to die for his mother. Apparently, 900 years ago, he turned Sage so they could be together forever. But Sage was on to Damon—she saw that his promise was a lie, that all the Originals are still linked and so told Rebekah to burn down Wickery frickin’ Bridge, because that’s where the white oak tree wood is! Can you believe it? So we think Damon’s been double-crossed, which he has, but then he surprises us, because he had the original Wickery Bridge sign that no one knew he had, which, as you may have guessed, was crafted from that very same white oak tree. Game on, Salvatores. There’s a battle a brewing for next week.
3. Hopefully, it involves Jeremy, because at the end of the episode, Elena calls him! The filming was kind of ominous, so I’m thinking that psycho Ric is, like there, indoctrinating Jeremy into the Accidental Murderers Club, but it was just a regular phone call, which was quite disappointing.
4. Last thing involves Bonnie’s spell to keep Ric’s inner killer at bay. He’s under Damon’s watch at his apartment. I wonder what will go wrong.
What did you think of Sage? Are you excited to see Klaus and Finn and whoever else returns next week? Is the Sage and Finn thing like the Damon and Katherine thing? Are you psyched to see them interact? Don’t you kind of feel like killing the Originals is so, like, four weeks ago? Should our favorite characters just get over it? Are we going to learn more about the crazy ring? Is Jeremy going to return? Do you feel bad for Rebekah, despite the fact that Damon’s usage of her was still really, really hot? Let me know! On Twitter, or in the comments below!