Justin Timberlake’s Engaged, We Cry A River

Well, it’s looking more and more likely that those vicious rumors about Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel heading to the chapel are true.

People has confirmed with the always-willing-to-chat “source” that Justin popped the question with a custom-designed ring while the two were vacationing in Montana. And earlier today, Justin’s own grandma, Sadie Bomar, went on the record with Gossip Cop confirming the news, saying, “He called me on Christmas Day and told me he’s engaged.” And you know grandmothers never lie.

To be honest, this nuptial news has us feeling a little conflicted. On the one hand, we want to see Justin happy. On the other, why can’t he be happy with us? We could bring sexy back together. Perhaps you feel that way too? If so, we’d like to share our itinerary for the next 24 hours, including the three things we’ll do to console ourselves over the loss of another eligible Hollywood hottie. Maybe you too can find a little solace in these activities.

Gorge ourselves silly at Southern Comfort
It would be irresponsible of us to encourage emotional eating, but sometimes a girl just needs to faceplant into a steaming plate of mac ’n’ cheese and greasy ribs, you know? And, rather conveniently, the singer’s Memphis BBQ joint is just steps from Hollywood Crush’s office. We’ll call ahead and reserve an extra bib if you like…

Listen to “Cry Me A River” on repeat
Sure, it’s a kiss-off song rather than a lamentation, but the track’s title pretty much sums up what we’ll be doing while we lie in bed with the deep fried pickle sweats. “You were my sun…You were my Earth…” Sing it, JT.

Revisit the “Mickey Mouse Club”
In a simpler, less emotionally fraught time known as the 1990s, Justin was just a boy with a penchant for linen pants who liked to sing kiddie love songs alongside Ryan Gosling. If only we could turn back time and tell our younger selves to take advantage before it was too late.


What about you, Crushers? How are you feeling about this engagement news? Do you think Justin and Jessica will make the perfect married pair? How will you be celebrating/finding solace? Tell us in the comments and on Twitter!