'Vampire Diaries' Recap: 'Homecoming'

by Cassie Title

Homecoming: It’s a time for football, dances, dresses and good ol’ fashioned popularity contests. But in Mystic Falls, it became a time for bizarro keg parties/wakes, vampire slaying, backstabbing (literally!), vervain injections and diabolical plans. So, basically, it was no different than any other day.

But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t deserve some recapping! I’ve gone ahead and compiled a most excellent list of unimportant things that deserve attention. And then, I’ve compiled another one that includes some important things. So get ready to read after the jump!

1. Have you ever noticed how American television can’t handle foreign accents? All vaguely European characters ALWAYS have a British accent. Does that say something deeper about our society? That we think all foreign people are British? What is wrong with us? Why do we think Vikings are British?! And why are Mikael, Rebekah and Klaus propagating the stereotype? One could say that they picked it up when they were living in England, which would make much sense, but they were already speaking like that when they lived in Mystic Falls, round one.

2. I told you that I was compiling unimportant things that warranted attention, did I not? There is a stoner van parading around at random times in random episodes of this random television show. What is that van doing there? I think we should trace its origins: It seemed to have first showed up back in the day with Jeremy and Vicki in the stoner’s area near the high school. Then it made a reappearance at the '60s dance. Then it may have come back at another point between the dance and last night. And then it was potentially going to be used as a Homecoming Dance decoration? WHAT IS WITH THE VAN, JULIE AND KEVIN? IS IT A SECRET VAMPIRE LAIR? Is this going to be like Harry Potter when J.K. Rowling mentioned one random name in passing in the very first book and then it became of utmost importance by book three? Am I supposed to be on the lookout for small things like stoner vans? WHY IS IT THERE, PEOPLE?!

3. Jeremy and Alaric weren’t in the episode. Over it!

OK, now that we’ve discussed unimportant things, let’s discuss important plot-oriented things.

1. For the trillionth time, Katherine is in the “previously on 'The Vampire Diaries'” montage. I see her, guys. I see her! Is she alive? C’MON ALREADY JUST GIVE ME SOMETHING TO WORK WITH HERE.

2. There’s a plan in action! Elena, Damon, Stefan and Mikael are attempting to lure Klaus back to Mystic Falls. Even Rebekah’s slightly in on it. Elena daggers Mikael so that Stefan isn’t lying to Klaus when he tells him that Mikael’s dead. Then, Rebekah confirms on the phone and Elena takes that dagger out.

3. They are banking on the fact that Klaus will want to see Mikael’s dead body, which is obviously the case. Mikael’s in possession of a special Original vampire stake—it’s made from those same ashes from the ancient white oak tree, but, unlike the dagger, it will actually kill the Original vampire in question for good.

4. Rebekah and Mikael have a short father-daughter heart-to-heart! Except, it doesn’t go super well.

Rebekah: "Nothing you say matters to me."

Mikael: "I see."

Probably not exactly the kind of conversation you want to have with your daughter upon your 1000-year reunion.

Mikael explains that he was never after Rebekah, only Klaus, because he killed Esther. Rebekah acknowledges Klaus’ lie about Esther’s death and explains that he will pay with his life. But she also blames Mikael:

Rebekah: "Niklaus wasn’t born a killer, none of us were. You did this to us when you turned us into vampires. You destroyed our family, not him."

Have we learned whether Mikael maintains his humanity? Because ouch, man, that’s gotta sting.

5. Elena and Rebekah have a heartwarming couple of moments, while Rebekah’s getting ready for the dance. Turns out, this’ll be her first high school dance ever. When you’re on the run from your psycho, abusive father for 1000 years, you don’t really have time for pesky little things like education. Rebekah is clearly heartbroken about having to kill Klaus, and I guess I have to say that it adds a whole new dimension to a complicated sibling relationship. Elena then provides the finishing touch on Rebekah’s ensemble: She puts Esther’s necklace on Rebekah. And then, she Original daggers her from behind. Because she can’t leave anything to chance. Honestly, it was a smart move, but it was really, really horrible to watch. Especially since Elena came up with the idea and the follow through all by herself.

6. Damon tells Elena that stabbing Rebekah was very Katherine of her. WHERE IS KATHERINE?!

7. The gym gets flooded, so Homecoming moves to Tyler’s house. I have to say that I’m concerned about the administrators at Mystic Falls High School. Their “school-sanctioned” events (spirit bonfire, unsupervised in the woods? Homecoming becoming a house party?) are quite questionable. But it’s great! Caroline even freaks out, wondering how Tyler can throw a better party than her in so short an amount of time. But of course, Tyler isn’t throwing it. Klaus is! And it isn’t just any old party, guys. It's a wake. For Mikael. Welcome back, Klaus. Homecoming. Get it?

8. Elena shows up to the party with wavy, Katherine hair! Finally, that girl is getting with the program.

9. Stefan and Klaus discuss Stefan’s freedom from compulsion. He will get it when Mikael is dead.

10. Damon and Mikael are at the Salvatore house, where Damon mentions Katherine told him something. MY EARS PERK UP. DOES THAT MEAN SHE IS ALIVE?! Stefan walks in, and Mikael thrashes his neck. And Stefan’s down. WHAT?!

11. Klaus knows something’s up. He threatens Elena and warns Tyler, who promptly vervains his girlfriend and begs Matt to get her out of the house. In a sick, twisted way, it is very romantic and heroic, but I’m sensing Caroline’s not going to think so.

12. The place is crawling with hybrids, and then, Mikael shows up! Klaus seems to expect this, which is slightly strange. He tries to lure Klaus outside by threatening to kill Elena. Which he does. WHAT?! IT HAS TO BE THE ORIGINAL DAGGER, WHAT?! Klaus and Mikael are having an awful confrontation: Mikael, you spent your life being this man’s father. Even if you hate him and he’s not really your son, you should really stop being so Freudian and abusive. Klaus is tearing up, and then Katherine jumps up. BECAUSE HOLY SMOKES IT WASN’T ELENA IT WAS KATHERINE! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I AM SO HAPPY I COULD BURST! I am bursting I tell you, bursting! A little annoying that the hair had to be a clue, but whatever. And then Damon comes behind to kill Klaus! Except Stefan runs in front, blocks him, and Klaus kills Mikael! WHO GOES UP IN FLAMES! I’m going to say it again, because it’s actually quite appropriate: HO-LY SMOKE!

13. Damon and Elena are convinced they’ve lost Stefan. But, in actuality, he had secretly teamed up with Katherine to save Damon’s life. Klaus explained that if he died, his minions had orders, even in his death, to take Damon down with him. So Katherine, of all people, was the only one who got Stefan to tap back into his humanity. And Katherine admits again how she loved both Stefan and Damon, and cared about Stefan’s soul and Damon’s life.

14. Caroline and Tyler break up. Who cares? They’ll get back together, and so many other exciting things happened. LIKE:

15. Stefan stole the caskets Klaus keeps his family in. His plan all along was to bring his family back together once Mikael died. Oh, no. Klaus is about to kill everybody Stefan’s ever known. This sh--, it’s bananas.

Other stuff’s important, but I guess we’ll get to that on January 5. Really, CW? Six weeks? Haven’t we gone over this before? I LITERALLY CANNOT HANDLE THIS SHOW’S ABSENCE. It’s like a medical condition. I don’t understand why you don’t understand.

How exciting was tonight’s mid-season finale? Are you going to survive until January? What’s going to happen with Stefan hiding the caskets? Who’s Klaus going to kill? Are we going to meet the rest of the Originals? Is it going to be soon? What’s going to happen with Rebekah; will Klaus find out her role in the broken plan? Can you believe Mikael’s dead? Where had Elijah been all those years while Rebekah and Klaus were running from Mikael? What other questions do you have about anything at all? Come one, come all. We have six weeks, people. Six dark, cold, lonely weeks. So let’s get friendly! On Twitter! Or in the comments below. Adios!