We'll admit it: We haven't had a chance to fully sink our teeth into Stephenie Meyer's just-released 543-page tome "The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide." We do have day jobs, after all. AND IT IS 543 PAGES LONG. That being said, we've been itching to peek inside the beautifully illustrated, infinitely informational companion piece, so we devised a—if we do say so ourselves—clever solution.
Much like ridiculously spontaneous cinematic characters toss a dart at a wall map to determine their vacation destinations, we flipped to random pages in the guide, ingested all the goodness and are reporting back with our findings. Won't you join us on a slightly scattered journey through "The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide"?
Flip No. 1: Page 146
Here we find ourselves in the midst of Renesmee Carlie Cullen's biography (gosh, that illustration of her on page 145 is just too darn cute!). The big take away? Renesmee "doesn't have a vehicle yet." As it should be. The last time I lent my Honda Civic to a newborn it came back in pretty shabby shape.
Flip No. 2: Page 267
When we hear the name "Stefan" in a bloodsucking context, our minds automatically jump to the "Vampire Diaries" dreamboat. But our second flip reminded us that the "Twilight Saga" has its own vampire Stefan. The ancient and rather short (5' 3"!) undead is one of only two members of the original Romanian coven. OMG! STEFAN IS AN ORIGINAL! STEFAN IS AN ORIGINAL! (Sorry for the "Vampire Diaries" pun. We'll now return you to your regularly scheduled "Twilight" post...)
Flip No. 3: Page 78
Rule-breakers beware: This portion is all about Vampire Law. Dun, dun, dun. Most of it relates to the naughty, naughty habit of creating immortal children, but we did find it intriguing that vampires don't write their laws down because that would be "an infraction." Man, lighten up, guys. Oh, wait...
Flip No. 4: Page 371
This page features a lovely water-colored canoe. And that's about it.
Flip No. 5: Page 267
Oops, we flipped to the same page again. Sorry.
Flip No. 5.5: Page 195
Oh yes, the Denali coven. Those minxes! Actually, according to the "Official Illustrated Guide," the bloodsucking habits of these man manipulators "earned them a place in human legend as the succubus." I wonder what Georgina Kincaid would have to say about that?
Have you read the ENTIRE "The Twilight Saga: The Official Illustrated Guide"? What was your favorite part? Tell us in the comments and on Twitter!