Most of all, though, we got another major piece of evidence to prove our “Rob is odd” theory: basically the entirety of the DVD commentary. We watched it earlier this week—the tough things we do for you, Crushers—and jotted down 12 of the most bizarre (and, coincidentally, the funniest) quotes from the Robsten chatfest. Not surprisingly, most of them come from Rob. Our favorites are after the jump. (Trust us, they’re just as weird in context.)
Scene: Xavier becomes a vampire
Rob: Xavier would make a wonderful hamburger… He’s just dripping with spread.
Kristen: Ew, that’s so gross.
Rob: Okay, how do we be serious about this?
Scene: The first meadow kiss
Rob: There’s a lot of kissing in this film. I noticed that when I was watching. After a while, it made me a little uncomfortable.
Scene: Bella gets in her truck. Edward is waiting for her.
Bella (in movie): “You scared me.”
Rob (in commentary): I was trying to. (low voice) I thought you’d like that. (lower voice) I’m Batman.
Scene: Bella goes to the Wolf Pack house for the first time
Kristen: She’s allowed to have other relationships.
Rob (heated): Why? No, she’s not allowed to have other relationships! If I ever saw my girlfriend go around to this bunch of guys’ house with all their little shirt—with all their little bellies out and their fake tan nipples and their iron-on tattoos…
Kristen: Edward is just a little bit more mature than you.
Kristen: He can handle it.
Scene: Boo Boo Stewart comes on screen
Rob: (in Yogi Bear voice) Heya Boo Boo!
Scene: An establishing shot of a beautiful lake
Rob: Have you ever gone to like the bottom of a swimming pool and just looked up at the top?
Rob: Very scary.
Kristen: I think it’s really cool.
Rob: (quietly singing) Doo doo doo doooooo
Scene: I don’t remember!
Rob: See, your wig looks really good there.
Kristen: No it does not.
Rob: It looks like Anne Hathaway’s hair.
Scene: Carlisle talks to the group about fighting newborns
Rob: Peter also uses his wig as a cereal bowl… He’ll sometimes have some, like, Top Ramen in it.
Scene: The tent
Rob: God, he’s so brazen. I really don’t like Jacob. Look at him with his tattoo. Ugh.
Kristen: Look at him cradling, his little head tucked in there.
Rob: You look like you’re milking him.
Scene: The fight
Rob: That’s the sequel, Kellan and the wolf. That’s going to be a magical relationship in the next one.
Rob (later): My mouth hole looks really black.
Scene: Edward bites Victoria’s head off
Rob: Come on, eat it! Mmmm, yummy. Butterscotch.
Scene: The meadow, part two
Rob: God, what is Edward going on about half the time?
Kristen: Does it matter?
Rob: It doesn’t matter.
What do you think about Rob and Kristen’s commentary? Which quote is your fave? Tell us in the comments and on Twitter.