by Aimee Curran
Wow...huge shocker this week...the episode did NOT open up with skanky outfits, gyrating hips and bouncing boobs. Instead it kicked off with a ballroom dance scene featuring Marti and Lewis. Except, suddenly Marti is dancing with Dan, and they start kissing, only for Dan to turn back into Lewis. Confused? Yeah, I was too until I realized Marti is dreaming. She wakes up startled that Dan totally hijacked her dream, prompting Lewis, who's clueless, to ask what's wrong. Yet again, Marti says nothing.
Alice starts her day off on the wrong foot too, receiving weird looks, whispers and giggles on the way to the gym. Savannah breaks the news that the naked photos Alice sent to her quarterback bf, Jake, were leaked. Always concerned Vanessa confronts Alice, suggesting she has deeper issues that would prompt her to take nude photos. Alice thinks Vanessa is full of it and sets out to get revenge on Jake. Lewis offers to help, but when they confront Jake, he claims his phone was stolen and whoever has it sent the pics.
Turns out another football star, Damian, who Jake had a fight with, stole the phone and sent the pics to get back at Alice for stealing the football team's magazine spotlight. Livid, Alice turns to Marti to see if she has any legal leverage against Damian. Marti says it's a no-go, but Alice isn't giving up. Thanks to her pridefully gay cheerleading pal, Darwin (seriously who is naming these characters?), we find out that Damian is gay and hooked up with Darwin at a party. Stoked about this news, Alice plans to use this info to "out" Damian and get her revenge.
Back over in the tedious love triangle of Red, Vanessa and Derrick, it looks as though trouble is brewing. Vanessa and Derrick have a fight over Derrick's heavy workload, which he says is more important than Vanessa's needs. Ouch. Who does she turn to...Red...duh. She hints at trouble only to stop herself from spilling the beans and instead asks for advice on how to handle Alice's nude photo incident. An awkward moment of almost kissing happens, which prompts Vanessa to hightail it out of Red's office.
Marti and Morgan are confronted by their law teacher Julian, who says he knows about their Hardy Boy/Nancy Drew work. He takes them off the Travis Guthrie case, adding that if they contact him again they will face legal ramifications. This doesn't deter Marti, of course, who goes to Dan for advice. As she's blathering on about what to do, Dan interrupts and goes off about their most recent magic night in the back of Wanda's Buick. He can't stop thinking about it, wants to know how Marti can pretend nothing happened and admits he is confused. Marti recommends treating it like the flu: feel bad for a week then go back to being normal. Of course, Savannah pops up at that moment. As Dan and Savannah walk off arm and arm, Marti looks like her other cat died. Must be tough to have so many guys in love with you...barf.
Anyway, Alice manages to get into the football locker room and steals Damian's dorm key so she can search for incriminating gay videos on his computer. Red sees her steal the key, foils her plan and brings her to Vanessa's office. The two convince Alice not to "out" Damian and instead suggest a different way of getting revenge, which entails enrolling him in women's rights classes for the following semester.
Cut back to the gym where Savannah is giving Derrick a dance lesson. It's clear he is planning some sort of elaborate surprise for Vanessa who shows up, sending Dan and Derrick flying behind a stack of mats to hide. Dan has a bro-down with Derrick and asks how he knew Vanessa was the one. While Derrick looks totally in love and off in the clouds talking about how he knew the moment he met her, Dan looks pained and confused. Clearly his relationship with Savannah and feelings for Marti are slowly killing him.
Unsurprisingly, Marti ignores her professor's threat and visits Travis Guthrie. Julian shows up to end the meeting. Travis fires Julian because he wants Marti to continue working on his case, and Julian points out that now, not only is Travis screwed out of legal representation, but Marti has put herself in a lot of deep doo-doo. Marti doesn't care, and shows up to Julian's class to have him sign her drop slip, but not before she lays a huge guilt trip on him about how he used to be one of those radical liberal lawyers that didn't conform to the norm, blah, blah, blah. This is TV, so OF COURSE this strikes a chord with Julian who says he was wrong. Marti and Morgan are put back on the case and are given full access to the university's law department resources to help prove Travis' innocence.
Over at the local theater, Savannah and Vanessa show up for Vanessa's surprise. Derrick performs an elaborate dance to propose to Vanessa. She accepts, and Savannah hugs Dan while exclaiming, "Don't you just love love?!" Marti looks like her third cat died. Everyone heads out to a bar to celebrate, and Red shows up to congratulate Vanessa. He's not stoked, but acts like an adult and leaves soon after.
Bright and early the next morning, Dan shows up at Savannah's dorm to break up with her. What a guy. Things may have cooled off between Dan and Savannah, but they are heating up between Red and Vanessa. Say what?? Yep, Red shows up to Vanessa's office, grabs her in a passionate kiss and soon the two are stripping for a steamy sex fest on her desk...OMG! Well don't get too excited because it's all a dream! Bummer, but Vanessa wakes up bothered and we all know this is just another transparent set up for more drama.
What did you think of last night's episodes. How annoyed were you by all those dream sequences?