'Vampire Diaries' Recap: 'Rose'

Vampire DiariesHere's a riddle: If a secret's exposed in a bedroom, and no one remembers it (because they were compelled not to), does it make a sound? Not sure? Yeah, me neither. Tonight's "Vampire Diaries" boasted perhaps the juiciest confession of the show's year-and-a-half run, and its intended recipient—frustratingly—can't even recall it. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

You'll remember from last week's deliciously satisfying episode, that Elena was kidnapped from the Lockwood estate following the disastrous masquerade ball. Unsurprisingly, a pair of vampires are behind the caper: Rose and her bestie Trevor—a total poor woman's Ben Barnes. When Elena finally comes to in the far-flung, dilapidated mansion, she overhears the pair whispering nervously about their plans involving a mysterious fellow named Elijah.

Back in Mystic Falls, Jeremy runs into Stefan at school and scolds him for allowing Elena to sleep over at his place without telling anyone. Except, obviously, she didn't. When they realize Elena is missing, Stefan turns to Damon, who casually mentions that Katherine warned him before she was vacuum-sealed into the tomb that Elena was in danger. Unfortunately (or perhaps, not-so unfortunately), Bonnie can't undo the tomb spell to release Katherine, so instead, Bonnie conjures a tracking spell to find Elena using Jeremy's blood. The trail indicates she's been taken about 100 miles outside of town. You know what that means: road trip!

Before Damon skedaddles, he has a tete-a-tete with Caroline, warning her to stay away from Tyler because, you know, he can now kill her with one little nibble. Caroline promises she will, which obviously means she won't and that the two are bound to hook up. Right? Tyler confronts Caroline at school, begging to know how she found out he was a werewolf. When he gets a little too aggressive after she plays dumb, Caroline subdues him by forcefully wringing his arm like a wet piece of laundry. Way to not give it away, Caroline! She makes Tyler promise not to divulge their supernatural secrets. After all, it's a literal life or death situation.

As the brothers Salvatore hit the road, it appears—for a brief, fleeting moment—that the two are going to have a true bro bonding session over their shared feelings for Elena. "The elephant in the room lets out a mighty roar," Damon cracks. Yet, when Stefan asks Damon if he's in love with Elena, Damon remains mum. Frustrating.

Bonnie and Jeremy are conveniently left behind from the Elena rescue mission, which gives them plenty of time to sit on Jeremy's bed, talk, comfort each other and share prolonged eye contact. In fact, when Bonnie passes out after trying to send a magical message to Elena , Jeremy is the one to nurse her back to health with...a glass of water.

We've now arrived at the point in this episode where I found myself muttering, "Huh"?! Follow me: Elena was kidnapped because she is "the doppelganger" and wanted by the originals (the very first vampires). So far so good. And apparently, though the moonstone binds the sun and moon curse, the blood of the doppelganger is the only thing that can break the curse. All right. But why does it have to be Katherine's doppelganger? Are there other doppelgangers? Elena can't be the only one, right? Why her? This part of the mythology makes no sense to me. Kevin and Julie, please elucidate soon!

Elijah shows up at the mansion to collect Elena—he'll be doing the human sacrifice—but not before he compels her to reveal the moonstone's hiding place. Stefan and Damon finally come streaking into the house to rescue her, and after some struggling and a few failed attempts with a vervain bomb and Alaric's weaponry, Damon stakes Elijah, leaving him for dead. But he's not! He lives to hunt Elena another day. But he may not even be the most treacherous creature pursuing Miss Gilbert. Rose stops by the Salvatore mansion to warn Stefan about Klauss. Gosh, these ancient vamps have such splendid names!

And we've finally arrived at the most frustrating moment in "TVD" history to date (especially for all you Delena supporters). Damon appears in Elena's room to return her vervain necklace, which was so rudely swiped by Elijah. But Damon has something to say before he hands over the bauble.

"I love you, Elena. And it's because I love you that I can't be selfish with you," he says softly. "I don't deserve you. But my brother does." With a gentle kiss on Elena's forehead, he then utters his heart-wrenching final lines. "God, I wish you didn't have to forget this. But you do."

In the blink of an eye, Damon disappears and the vervain necklace dangles peacefully from Elena's throat. And she's none the wiser. Why, Damon. WHY!?!

Was your mouth gaping at Damon's tender moment as much as mine? Who do you think Klaus is? Can you make any sense of the doppelganger mythology?