by Aimee Curran
Party time! This week marks the Hellcats' 25th anniversary at Lancer, and the team puts together an '80s-themed spirit party (because they were founded in 1985, obvi). And, of course, how else could they decorate but in their skimpy uniforms? Alice, however, skips out on the party planning to pose for a football magazine photo spread with her quarterback boyfriend, Jake. Being Alice, she causes a scene with the head of athletics by blabbing to the reporter that the Hellcats get the shaft when it comes to funding from Lancer. This causes a kerfuffle with Jake, who calls her a football wife...ouch. Being his girlfriend comes with expectations...smiling, looking pretty and acting dumb.
Back at the cheertown dorm, Lewis and Dan both decide to have a slumber party in Savannah and Marti's room. Only difference is, Dan gets the floor while Lewis gets to cozy up with Marti in her bed...how most couples sleep. Well, this freaks out Savannah who says she feels judged for being a prude and goes to sleep on the couch so Dan can sleep in her bed. Dan confides to Marti that he doesn't want to have sex with Savannah because she is building up the loss of her virginity too much. No guy wants to be the first. Thanks for being a typical dude, Dan.
After questioning their music man inmate, Travis, Marti and Morgan commence their Sherlock-Watson routine, ending up at some furniture store talking to the owner. They make up some lame lie about a school project and find out that the furniture store owner is letting Travis' ex-girlfriend live rent free in the extra house he owns. Things quickly turn shady when he hands U2 tickets he just so happened to have in his desk over to M & M. He doesn't want them bothering the ex-gf anymore and excuses himself. You would think the writers of this show would have creepy furniture guy proffer Lady Gaga or Justin Bieber tickets...U2? Seriously?
Savannah decides she is going to have sex with Dan after the spirit party, complete with white roses, Justin Timberlake music and G-string underwear...oy! Marti gives Savannah a pep talk and tells her about her first time in the backseat of a Buick on the side of a highway. Marti tells Savannah to chill out on the sex itinerary. Savannah confronts Marti about secretly having feelings for Dan. Savannah decides to go ahead with her plan and tells Dan to get ready for a big surprise after the party. Sigh...
Alice invites the magazine chick to come document the party to prove the Hellcats are a legit athletic team. What further proof does one need than Coach Vanessa channeling Tina Turner while singing the Go-Gos' "We Got the Beat" with the Hellcats playing backup? The magazine chick totally buys it, promising to trash the football piece for a cheerleading angle instead. Uh-oh! Jake isn't a happy boyfriend, but Alice just brushes him off.
Morgan's computer somehow gets stolen, so he crashes the party and drags Marti back to her dorm to see if her laptop is still there, and it is. He's convinced the furniture guy is on to them and had something to do with it. Marti rolls her eyes and goes back to the party.
Wanda, in the meantime, gets drunk and pulls Dan onto the dance floor where she spills the beans about Marti being in love with him in high school, writing poems about him and how he's wasting time dating Savannah. Gotta love moms! Dan confronts Marti, and after a long pause she admits to it but adds that it was a long time ago. Dan is suddenly confused and questioning his feelings for Marti. Marti obviously still has feelings for Dan because when Dan leaves with Savannah, Marti looks like she just found out her cat died. If she had one...
Marti heads back to her dorm with Lewis and, yep, her laptop is gone. Meanwhile at the hotel, Dan tells Savannah about his first time, and what do you know, it was in the back of a Buick on the side of a highway. Savannah freaks and runs out crying...and still a virgin.
What do you think will happen now that Dan knows about Marti's feelings? How will Lewis react to all of this? Who do you want to see together?