'90210' Recap: 'Welcome To The Undies'

Last night’s "90210" drama was set against the backdrop of West Bev’s apparently prestigious Achievement Awards and its sister ceremony the Undies (the Underachievement Awards, cute, huh?)

Silver and Navid bond over the recognition of their academic success, while the rest of the gang are treated to a show MC-ed by WBHS's most promising theater talent, Annie and Ian. Struggling with his sexual identity, Teddy tries to squash the rumor that he was "shooting pool with a rope," attempts to get Silver back (who squarely shoots him down), makes eyes with Ian and then smokes some weed to forget it all.

Freshly reconciled with Ivy (until she confesses she slept with Oscar—his bouquet of surf wax was kinda adorable though), DJ Dix (whose tag is really phallic BTW, I mean look at it next time) spins for the party and gets the kids on the dance floor where we finally find out the point of meeting Navid’s locker mate. The new junior transfer has starred in none other than one of N’s father's porns (remember in season one when we found out Navid’s family money came from the pornography biz? Really glad they didn’t clean that up). NBD, except filming a minor having sex isn’t really okay.

Speaking of sex scandals, Mr. Matthews goes to the police with Naomi to confess he saw Cannon shut the blinds the night of the rape. This isn’t quite enough evidence, particularly given Ryan’s intoxicated state, to arrest Cannon, but Naomi finally decides to press charges anyway. Ryan reminds her that she has "a school teacher with a drinking problem known to destroy school property on the her side," so there is that bonus. Unfortunately, Matthews finally has to face the music re: that school destruction bit and he gets suspended from teaching.

Now that Oscar has completed his mother-daughter revenge sexcapade, he has time to focus on other things, like school and new sexual conquests. Without getting too convoluted, Oscar falls for Naomi and mentions to her that he knows Mr. Cannon is lying about where he is from in England based on his accent. A little more sleuthing reveals that Cannon is wanted in the U.K. for rape under a different name. This is finally what the police need to put Cannon behind bars, but he has already fled.

Adrianna makes an appearance to let Navid know she is still under Victor’s management, and Liam is emasculated all night and forced to act as Laura's personal assistant, carrying a supply of purses she designed that are secret cover-ups for the fact that she is a cocaine dealer. Obviously.

Between Laura, Porn Girl and Harper, I have to say the minor players in this show are getting a little out of control. And how long do you give Silver and Navid before they hook-up? Next week’s Joe Jonas appearance might be all they need …

Will Oscar ever win Naomi's heart? Will Dixon forgive Ivy? And do we still care about Annie?