TV

‘90210’ Recap: ‘How Much Is That Liam In The Window?’

After taking a week off, “90210” picked up exactly where it left off. Officially deflowered, Ivy wakes up next to Oscar as Dixon, still in that same American Apparel hoodie (that I almost bought a few months ago, so it weirds me out to see Dix in it—not sure he is who I would want for a style twin) arrives at her house to finally admit the truth about his HIV scare. Twelve hours too late, Ivy tells Dixon she has to think about things.

Mr. Matthews invites Naomi over to meet new baby Jack-Jaques. While it stills feels icky and degrading to see Annie’s mom working as an assistant to Jen, it’s nice that she at least doesn’t take any sh-t from her. While Silver and Naomi ogle the baby, they talk about Naomi’s rape (obv), which Jen hears on the baby monitor. Jen becomes, understandably, livid and Ryan finally admits he crashed into the school sign last year. (Not as satisfying as I thought it would be to hear him confess though.) Matthews tells Naomi he will come forward and pushes her to press charges against Cannon. I don’t think a drunk teacher, who is also the father of the victim’s nephew, testifying that he saw the blinds close will go very far…but you never know in TV land.

Homeless Liam snags a new gig at an Abercrombie knock-off that requires the staff to be topless. I have to say, there is nothing hot about watching a half-naked boy use a cash register. Nothing. One of his customers conveniently offers him a job as a fully clothed errand boy, as well as a place to stay in her pool house (very “O.C.” Ryan Atwood). Of course, this is not a lucky break, it is set-up by Liam’s new stalker-girlfriend Laura, who asks her mom to hire her “friend.” Laura notices a scar running the width of Liam’s lower back (which apparently Naomi, Annie nor anyone on the surf team ever paid attention to), and Liam brushes it off as something he got as a kid.

At the same time, Annie is asking brother Charlie about the equally disfiguring scar on his shoulder. Charlie, hot off the premiere of his “dark and twisted” play, explains that there are violent people in the world, even if he isn’t one of them. Charlie and Liam’s relationship is becoming overly complex. To recap: Charlie and Liam spent one summer together in Minnesota when they were “kids” and Charlie framed Liam for credit card fraud and then they both endured some kind of abuse that left them physically scarred and completely estranged…so this should wrap up neatly.

Adrianna managed to become more even unlikable last night. Navid finally figures out the truth about her stealing Javier’s songs and Victor blackmailing her. He tells her to ditch Victor, but when she finds out her topless photos get her on the cover of a magazine, she just can’t quit the biz. She also struggles with a People magazine crossword. She deserves everything she gets. Rob Rand? There is nothing cute about a dumb girl. And where is her mom-ager, btw? She needs a Kris Kardashian as bad as the BG5.

Oscar reveals to Laurel and Ivy that he boned them both, thus completing his mission of revenge. He tells Laurel that her affair with his father so devastated his family, eventually leading to his mother’s death in a sea of cocktails and pills, that he felt he had to destroy her family too. Unfortunately for Oscar, I don’t think Laurel and Ivy are beyond repair. It’s definitely messed up, but it takes more than one night in bed with a douchebag to forever ruin a relationship with your mom. I would think at least, can’t say I know from experience.

One of the best parts of the episode had to be the return of Chris Isaak’s “Wicked Games” at the end of the show though. A hallmark song of the original show; it was used twice in the series. The more memorable episode was when Brenda and Dylan decided to give their relationship another shot at the make-out cliff. That song still gives me chills. Those were the days.

Do you think Ivy and Dixon will get back together? Is Oscar gone for good? Will Mr. Matthews help seal Mr. Cannon’s fate, or only reveal his own short-comings? And where is Teddy hiding?