Taylor Lautner On 'Letterman': Dissecting Those Crazy 'Twilight' Fans By Country

Taylor LautnerOh, Dave. We know you're not a die-hard Twilighter like the rest of us. We don't expect you to have Bella Swan's birthday memorized (September 13) or have any notion of what a leg hitch is. But for the love of Jacob Black, could you (or more likely, one of your staffers) do a teensy bit of research before having a "Saga" star on your set? I mean, we totally dug the whole wolf pet chat you had with Kristen Stewart a few nights ago, but last night's interview with Taylor Lautner, well, sadly it wasn't anything we hadn't heard before.

For his inaugural appearance on "The Late Show," Taylor looked quite dapper in a dark gray pin-stripe suit as he good-naturedly fielded Dave's banal questions about those CRAZY SCREAMING FANS. "Different fans choose to show their passion in different ways," Taylor explained. "And a lot of times it's screaming." But Dave wasn't quite satisfied with that answer, so he proceeded to take us on an around-the-world analysis of fan behavior. "What about different countries?" the late night host probed.

"In Japan, they're very sensitive. They cry a lot," the 18-year-old answered. "What happens is, it's not good, and I feel really bad. They start crying. So you'll touch them and say, 'It's okay, It's all right,' and they start crying more. So then you'll grab them with two hands, 'Seriously, it's just going to be fine,' and they start balling. Eventually, they faint."

And then there was that time in Brazil with 2,000 charging fans, an anecdote you may recall from Taylor's time on Conan O'Brien's "Tonight Show" last fall. "In South America, we went to Brazil. In Brazil, they're very aggressive and physical. They would grab our legs and our arms. We would have to walk with them on top of us to the car. At the hotel, we had 2,000 fans storm the lobby."

Yet amidst all the rehash, Taylor did recount an adorable story about a four-year-old boy (Not all Twilighters possess double X chromosomes!), who was perched along the red carpet at the premiere crying and holding a Team Taylor poster. Aw, so cute!

And... then it was back to business as usual. After Dave touched on Taylor's past (you know, Michigan, karate, etc.) he randomly made Taylor swear he would someday go back to college. "Yeah, as long as I'm not working," Taylor said solemnly before breaking into a laugh, aware of his somewhat disingenuous oath.

And that's about it, folks.

Have you see our full image gallery of the "Twilight" cast talk show appearances yet? If not, then go on, head over to it now!

What did you think of Taylor's appearance on "Late Night"? Did you learn anything new or was it just the same old, same old for you too?