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Unpopular Opinion: I Would Not Let Rihanna Into My Home Wearing These Shoes

Forgive me, Rih.

Anyone who knows me knows that Robyn Rihanna Fenty has been the single greatest influence on my entire closet in the past five years. On top of releasing unto the world radio banger after radio banger after radio banger, this Bajan angel has the unique ability to make anything she wears -- I'm talking everything from custom gowns covered in hand-placed crystals to full-body sweats -- the coolest outfit you've ever seen. Rihanna could make me want to wear a paper bag to bars, and not only is that probably not going to work aesthetically for me, it's also not very practical (sloppy liquid consumption + paper clothes = at least one indecent exposure charge).

All that said, though, she would not be permitted into my dwelling wearing this:

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It's not like I'm mad at the whole look or anything. Her glam is on point, especially the strobing over top her cheekbones. That coat is enviable. I would probably beg her to let me borrow that MCM box bag, and while I can't see the full effect of those jeans, they appear to be perfectly broken-in and with an effortless cuffing situation at the bottom that I know from experience is not something easily achieved. But -- and this is assuming I would ever be in such a fortuitous position where Rihanna would be anywhere near my place of living, let alone vying to come in -- I would, respectfully, request she removes those shoes at the door.

Let's take a closer look, shall we?

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Yyyyyyyyyeeeeeeaaaaaaa. Rihanna wore these furry wedges traipsing about the streets of New York. Which, like, sure. You're Rihanna. You can wear anything. And these shoes are cute. But let's zoom back out to look at this street.

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OK. Do you really want these little fur ball street-sweepers-turned-shoes -- which BTW have made almost ceaseless contact with loose garbage and concrete that has been walked on by the 8.4 million people living in New York City and pooped on by their 600,000 dogs -- to cross the threshold into the space where you sleep and eat dinner and do the occasional sit-up????? NOPENOPENOPENOPE. NOT ME.

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All that said, I'd obviously present Rihanna with a pair of furry Celine house slippers that I had custom made explicitly for her visit, so... It's not like she's gonna be walking around barefoot. Get real.