Fashion Fanfic: Joe Jonas’ Milan Fashion Week Diary

It’s been a hot minute since we had some Fashion Fanfic on da blog, and when we spotted Joe Jonas having a grand ol’ time during Milan Fashion Week these past few days, we couldn’t help wondering what notes he’d jot down in his fashion week diary. So, we thought we’d make it up ourselves. Inspired by the (very!) real three-piece NYFW installment he wrote last season, here’s a fabricated version of what went down overseas with Front Row Joe (as we’re affectionately calling him) at MFW.


Photo: Getty Images

Hey. It’s me, Joe. (IDK if I’m supposed to introduce myself to a diary, but I’m a gentleman, and it seems rude not to.) I flew into Italy last night and headed to the John Varvatos show first thing in the morning. Instead of my normal AM juice run (kale FTW, am I right?), I did a shot of espresso because I’m in Europe, and I’m #living. Even though it’s not seasonally appropriate, I decided to play it safe in an all-black outfit because that’s what NYFW taught me, and I do everything they say. In this photo, I’m trying to force a smile while thinking about all the #worldcup games I’m missing because of this. (U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!)

Photo: Getty Images

I felt uncomfortable once I realized I didn’t get the whole wide-brimmed-hat-and-extraneous-layers front row memo, but Adolfo (the dude in the white jacket) assured me that if I wore some of his wooden bead bracelets, no one could tell I was a Milan Fashion Week newbie. I was hesitant, but once I saw his outdated camcorder, I felt sad and slid them on while giving him direct eye contact to show my utmost sincerity. People without iPhones are so, like, real, you know?

The show was cool. To be honest, I spent most of my time staring at this very well-dressed man across the runway wondering how I could cop his entire look for myself so I didn’t really see most of the clothes per se, but my main man John V. is a total #rockstar so I know he most likely killed it. Also, whoa, models are tall, man.


Photo: Getty Images

On the second day, I decided to kick it up a notch in a gray suit for the Missoni show, but as it turns out, you can wear a graphic tee and slip-ons and still end up in the front row. Fashion is so confusing! Thankfully, I Snapchatted this outfit to my GF Blanda earlier that morning, and she gave it three thumbs-up emojis so you can pretty much say I was on cloud nine. (She says hi.)

I decided to count all the rugs on the runway while I waited for the show to start. There were 28.

Photo: Getty Images

This is me counting them. I used my iPhone to help keep track. It was hard.

Then, I went to Vivienne Westwood’s show where I got so lost in conversation with her team backstage, I kinda missed the entire show. (Oops.) She was such a #goddess and a #pleasure, and I am #humbled.


Photo: Getty Images

During the morning of the Diesel Black Gold show, I decided to do two shots of espresso (that stuff is addictive!) and jogged all the way to the venue. I was one of the first people there, and I was super stoked until my manager told me later that I should never get there too early and—even if I do—I should never, ever sit down right away. So… I guess this is photo evidence that I’m a total #fashionrookie, lol. #ohwell

The Diesel clothes were cool. I would probably wear everything I saw on the runway. This motorcycle jacket looks like someone went crazy on it with a white-out pen. Wait, do those even exist anymore? I gotta Google that.


Photo: Getty Images

For my last day at the Dsquared2 show, I really pulled out all the stops in a double-breasted (hehe, breast) suit with a black tie. I stood on the actual runway for this shot, which kind of isn’t allowed, but I was feeling like a #badass so I did it anyway. (Don’t be mad, Blanda.)

This was definitely my favorite show. They had a lot of wearable looks, and I’m really into streetwear these days. This cat sweater was cool, and I never thought I’d want a sweater with a feline on it, but purr-haps I could make an exception. (Get it? #haha) Overall, I had a really great time, but I would suggest one thing: Don’t have more than eight shots of espresso in one day because I just did, and I’m so jacked that I could basically run a marathon right now, lol. Well, minus the fact that all my limbs are convulsing. Should I go to the doctor…? Anyway, can’t wait for the next fashion week! If you’re there, look for me in the front row. :P

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