According to the internets it's National Splurge Day, which means, yep, we finally have an excuse to swipe up that Nyan Cat Ferrari we always wanted—JK, we'd totally buy clothes! To celebrate the occasion, we started doing some online shopping only to uncover tons of side-eye-worthy, super-expensive designer pieces that we just had to share with y'all. Basically, there's a lot of weird (and weirdly expensive!) shiz out there, people, and it's our duty to let y'all know about it. Onward!
FISH CLUTCH: $1,560
Sure, this Olympia Le Tan clutch is hand-beaded and lined in gorgeous fabric, but carrying around a seemingly dead fish with creepy eyes and a gaping mouth is a pretty hard sell.
COSMIC CAT SWEATER: $875
We'll give it up to Juun.J for making a hella trippy cat sweater, but the thought of spending our entire rent on a 100% polyester sweater seriously makes us itch.
'80S-INSPIRED DENIM JACKET: $5,325
Nope, this isn't vintage, it's Miu Miu. If awkwardly cut, bedazzled '80s jean jackets are your thing, then you've hit the jackpot, my friend.
PUFF BALL SNEAKERS: $1,395
We did a triple take when we first spotted these Giuseppe Zanotti shoes because, um, we couldn't even tell what they were. Apparently underneath that fox fur is a calfskin sneaker wedge, but honestly, we'd never know.
SPONGEBOB SWEATER: $695
Jeremy Scott's first Moschino collection featured this SpongeBob sweater, which is totally awesome... and totally $700. (Here's hoping Nickelodeon megafans—other than Pharrell—are also into high fashion.)
JELLY SANDALS: $1,225
We wore jelly sandals in the '90s as tiny children, which should already be a sign that these plastic shoes probably shouldn't break the bank. Somehow, though, Simone Rocha found a way to make 'em worth more than $1k.
BEDAZZLED SUNGLASSES: $1,010
These Anna-Karin Karlsson sunglasses kiiind of look like a craft session gone crazy, which is cool if you're into statement sunnies and are, um, really, really rich.
SOMBRERO DOG SWEATER: $510
Markus Lupfer made this sweater featuring a dog wearing a sombrero (in sequins!), and we can't tell if it's totally genius or totally the product of us getting punk'd.
HAND SANDALS: $1,195
These Charlotte Olympia "Hands On" sandals are actually very awesome, but there's something about visualizing a bunch of tiny well-manicured hands touching our feet all day that gives us weird feels.
POM-POM SHORTS: $4,930
Rick Owens made shorts with pom-poms on them. For $5,000. Need we say more?
SHELL PENDANT: $9,680
And finally, at Barneys you can buy a rainbow-gemstone shell hanging from a paper clip for nearly $10k. Bye.