9 Reasons We Should Be Very Scared About The Return Of Low-Rise Jeans

A look from the Moschino Spring/Summer 2015 fashion show during London Menswear Fashion Week on June 16.
Photo: Getty Images

Yesterday, Jeremy Scott unveiled his first-ever men’s RTW Moschino Spring 2015 collection, and we were super stoked to see his bold, ’00s-inspired logomania pieces in all their statement-making glory…until we stumbled upon this particular look: a head-to-toe light-wash denim ensemble complete with a bustier and—gasp—low-rise jeans. Suddenly, all the early-aughts fashion came rushing back to us—the belly-button rings, the awkward torso proportions, the *gulp* visible thongs. Basically, we have low-rise jean PTSD, and here are nine reasons why we’re praying these bad boys never make a serious comeback.

1. BELTS WILL BE RENDERED USELESS

Christina Aguilera in 2001.
Photo: Getty Images

In the early 2000s, belts = cool, but belt loops = lame. No, it didn’t make any sense, and no, we have no explanation for this, so let’s just…not bring it back.

2. UNDERWEAR DOESN’T STAND A CHANCE

Christina Milian in 2002.
Photo: Getty Images

We’re still trying to pretend the whole showing-your-thong-on-purpose thing wasn’t actually a thing, but it totally was, and we’re all still very sorry about it, mom.

3. BUTTONS AND ZIPPERS WILL BE REPLACED WITH STRING

Paris Hilton in 2002.
Photo: Getty Images

Maybe Y2K was still too fresh in our minds and we were rebelling against modern technology, but regardless, we still don’t want to look like a Medieval Times employee after hours.

4. LOW-RISE CARGOS WILL ALSO HAVE TO MAKE A COMEBACK

Jennifer Love Hewitt in 2003.
Photo: Getty Images

*shudder*

5. IT’LL BE SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE TO CUT OFF THE TOP OF YOUR PANTS

Alicia Keys in 2002.
Photo: Getty Images

Apparently you could just cut off the top of your lame, high-rise jeans and make them into low-rise ~masterpieces~, and no one even cared. Today, we’d totally care.

6. …AND THE BOTTOM, NO QUESTIONS ASKED

Christina Aguilera in 2002.
Photo: Getty Images

Tailors were hella lame in the early 2000s, right Xtina?

7. SAY GOODBYE TO CROP TOPS

Keira Knightley in 2003.
Photo: Getty Images

Ha ha ha, yeahhhh. Wear your crop tops with high-waisted ish while you still can, people.

8. EVERYTHING WILL LOOK LIKE VAJAZZLING

Heidi Klum in 2001.
Photo: Getty Images

When your pants are that low, any decor around the belt buckle area just ends up looking like a vajazzling sesh gone wrong. :(

9. R.I.P. GETTING FULLY DRESSED

Britney Spears in 2001.
Photo: Andrew Eccles/Teen People

Everything got confusing, and this is 100% the reason why no one uses the phrase “XYZ” anymore.

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