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Drake On ‘SNL’: Look By Look

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

I’m not saying I was nervous for Drake to host SNL. I’m just saying that my insides were convulsing in meaty ways because I just want the whole world to love him the way I do, and OH GOD, what if he totally Phelps’d it? Or what if he was too cool to play along? The best hosts accept and dive into skit concepts that make them look foolish in the best ways possible (see: Hutcherson, Josh.) What if Drake was stiff, or even worse, not funny? FEAR NOT, me. This is a dude who started as an actor, see. And as it turns out, he’s still a consummate pro—even in the glare of live television.

How many rappers do you know who will sword fight in a wizard costume, lunge in some shorty shorts, or seamlessly transform into a lame dad? I mean, we’re talking about a superstar who FULLY knows that he’s a walking meme, but embraces it and continues to propagate it in various ways. I guess he’s not too worried about his cool meter—he just wants to have some fun.

ONWARDS, MINIONS! TO THE LOOKS!

COLD OPEN

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Source: NBC/Saturday Night Live; GIF: MTV Style

You know it’s a good sign when your guest host appears in the pre-monologue opening sketch. Poking fun at New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez’s ongoing saga of scandal, Drake purses his lips and dons a douchey sportsguy peekaboo collared shirt + blazer combo. Perfect for a hooker-y night in Miami.

Loopiness Rating: 1/5 Happy Aubreys

MONOLOGUE

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

What we have here is a case of Everyday Drake. Timbs, jeans, an OVO letter jacket and a bucket of good humor. (Sidebar: This is how my future +1 should dress.) But then, the tables turn! Drake reminisces about his bar mitzvah, which brings us to…

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

…which OF COURSE brings us to…

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: The Rap Insider

Loopiness Rating: 1/5 Happy Aubreys

BEFORE THEY WERE STARS

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Source: NBC/Saturday Night Live; GIF: MTV Style

Our pride and joy Sway (portrayed by Kenan Thompson) reveals long-lost clips of hip-hop stars in ’90s sitcoms. Drake absolutely murders as Lil Wayne playing Steve Urkel. As the saying goes, if you spend enough time with someone, your impression shall become airtight. (Not an actual saying.) Needless to say, he’s decked out in suspenders, monstrous glasses, and wedgie-pants. Somehow he looks kind of hot?

Loopiness Rating: 3/5 Happy Aubreys

NANCY GRACE

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Source: NBC/Saturday Night Live; GIF: MTV Style

Omg, Drake throws on a wig, goatee, and used-car salesman suit to fully embody comedian Katt Williams. Debating with Nancy Grace about his propensity for mar-i-ju-ana, Drake-as-Katt has, by this point in the show, fully proven himself as return-host material.

Loopiness Rating: 4/5 Happy Aubreys

RESOLUTION REVOLUTION

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

All you need to know is that Drake puts on a wizard outfit for a rousing session of LARPING. YES, LARPING. Has anyone seen my s***? Because I seem to have lost it.

Loopiness Rating: 5/5 Happy Aubreys

SEXY DAD

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Source: NBC/Saturday Night Live; GIF: MTV Style

Hey, guess what: Drake does a pretty good Ned Flanders! In my favorite sketch of the night, he plays THE BEST lame dad since American Pie Dad. Checking in on his daughter’s sleepover, shenanigans ensue when one teenybopper falls deeply in lust (Aidy Bryant, NAILING IT). Drake really works the Selleck ’stache and casual hands on hips.

Loopiness Rating: 3/5 Happy Aubreys

PERFORMANCE 1: STARTED FROM THE BOTTOM/TROPHIES

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Source: NBC/Saturday Night Live; GIF: MTV Style

Baby boo is bathed in red light, so I can’t tell what color he’s REALLY wearing. Is it white? Is it a Canadian tuxedo? I guess we’ll never know. One thing’s for sure: He’s back in his Drake Pants.

Loopiness Rating: 0/5 Happy Aubreys

DISNEY WORLD SHOW

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Source: NBC/Saturday Night Live; GIF: MTV Style

Yo. Respect is due to this man for having zero point zero fear, and hauling on a pair of shorts with a ’70s era NBA inseam. Socks at the calf, voice up an octave, giving it his all in what was otherwise a pretty low-qual sketch. (Source of comedy: she’s foreign! Computer says no.)

Let’s turn to what’s important here:

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Source: NBC/Saturday Night Live; GIF: MTV Style

Loopiness Rating: 4/5 Happy Aubreys

POETRY TEACHER

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

Drake plays the high school bad boy with a penchant for older ladies. He woos Vanessa Bayer’s hippy poetry teacher with his prose, bedroom eyes, silver-hoop nose ring and Pac’d out knotted bandana. Wacky levels are at an all-time low (for this episode).

Loopiness Rating: 1/5 Happy Aubreys

PERFORMANCE 2: HOLD ON, WE’RE GOING HOME/FROM TIME

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

Not sure if Drake got this shirt straight from the flight deck or what, but he’s definitely got room for a few emergency sandwiches in there. Doesn’t really matter anyway. He wins by bringing cutie Jhene Aiko onstage to sing the hook, then singing for Lorne Michaels to cut to commercial so they can have sexytimes.

Loopiness Rating: 0/5 Happy Aubreys

MORNIN’ MIAMI

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

You may remember this skit from Miley’s episode; the concept remains the same. Three tired and annoyed morning show hosts put on their best happy faces to shoot promos for the week. They probably pulled a jacket + tie out of Lauer’s closet for this one. He is just down the hall.

Loopiness Rating: 1/5 Happy Aubreys

GOODBYE

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

Canada’s latest SNL sensation signs off with an October’s Very Own tee, proving that he may not have a typical rapper’s aversion to being silly in public, but he sure has a high-profile rapper’s keen business acumen. Well played, Drake. Welllllllll played.

BONUS STUFF!

Sasheer Zamata on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

New hire Sasheer Zamata had her first night on the job, and she slammed it out of the PARK. Exhibit A: Sasheer as Rihanna as Blossom. Naaaailed it.

Also nailing it? Kate McKinnon as Bieber. More please. More!

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live + @justinbieber

And just because everybody likes things that are handsome:

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

Drake on ’Saturday Night Live.’
Photo: NBC/Saturday Night Live

The end. Good-bye. Scram.

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