5 Trends From London’s Men’s Collections We Doubt We’ll See IRL

Considering we’re in the throes of a polar vortex, looking at clothing for next autumn/winter may seem unappealing. We prefer shorts and bathing suits and clothing that makes us believe it will be warm again, not sweaters that make it seem like winter will last forever. Fashion doesn’t adhere to our feelings though, and Fashion Week is starting up again, kicking off in London with men’s collections. Though these clothes are technically for next fall, there are a few trends we found that we’re not sure we’ll be seeing at all. Ever.


Models at the Kate Eary and MAN Autumn/Winter 2014 shows in London.
Photo: Getty Images

Weirdly enough, two different designers had models walk out with Mickey Mouse ears. “MICKEY IS HUGE FOR FALL 2014, TELL EVERYONE YOU KNOW!”—people in the fashion world (or so I imagine). MAN attached Mickey’s iconic ears to a baseball cap and accessorized it with something you’d likely find in a dentist’s office/nightmares, while Kate Eary constructed a plastic Mickey mask, complete with a red mohawk. I’m pretty sure this would not fly on the subway.


Models at the MAN, Alexander McQueen, Kate Eary, and Agi & Sam Autumn/Winter 2014 shows in London.
Photo: Getty Images

Designers were heavily into the skirt over pants look (as was I in my freshman year of high school). Perhaps they were inspired by Kanye’s love of kilts, but I’m not sure men (or women, for that matter) will be sold on putting on pants and a skirt. That’s a lotta material to lug around all day.


Models at the JW Anderson and Kate Eary Autumn/Winter 2014 shows during in London.
Photo: Getty Images

This straitjacket trend follows one we highlighted last year: clothing that would be really difficult to wear in the real world. If you need your arms to move at any time during the day, this look is not for you. Sorry!


Models at the Astrid Andersen, YMC, and Casely-Hayford Autumn/Winter 2014 shows in London.
Photo: Getty Images

Models at Astrid Andersen, YMC, and Casely-Hayford were sent down the runway with shoulder-length hair. Besides the fact that most men probably won’t be able to grow their hair this long by next fall (though there are always extensions, guys!), hair like this requires a lot of work, which a lot of men won’t want to make the time for during their daily routines in the name of #FASHUN. Also, why all the middle parts? Side parts do exist, y’know.


Models at the Lou Dalton, MAN, Christopher Raeburn, and Hackett Autumn/Winter 2014 shows during in London.
Photo: Getty Images

While weather like we’re currently experiencing makes wearing 20 turtlenecks at a time seem reasonable, these huge ones still appear unreasonable. The fabric would get in the way of neck movements, peripheral vision could be compromised, and generally they look really hot. Too hot. Imagine trying to get your head through that bad boy. Good luck resurfacing!

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