Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show Superlatives: 7 Looks From Last Night

Victoria’s Secret models and Taylor Swift backstage at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Photo: @VictoriasSecret’s Twitter

Last night, as we all know, was the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. Taylor Swift performed in a Union Jack mini dress, and tall, toned women walked around her, showing off new bras, underwear, and things that no one would actually buy at Victoria’s Secret (see below: sparkly nude bodysuit, velvet suspenders). To express their excitement for the show, Victoria’s Secret posted the above photo on Twitter, with the caption “Who needs a cap & gown when you can wear wings?! #VSFashionShow” Wait, what? Isn’t the only time “Who needs ___ when ___” used when the first thing is way better than the second, but people jokingly equate the two? A lot of people need education because they like learning, want to get a job, aren’t 5’11”, etc., THERE ARE HUNDREDS OF REASONS. Or are the Victoria’s Secret Angels secretly jealous of people who get to wear caps and gowns? Caps and gowns themselves are not that great, Angels! Wearing a $10 million Fantasy Bra is probably better!

Anyway, inspired by their Class of 2013 picture, we decided to apply superlatives to some of the looks from last night:

SMALLEST HAT

Lily Donaldson on the runway at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Photo: Getty Images

With her mini Union Jack top hat, we thought Taylor Swift would take the prize for “smallest hat,” but that honor goes to Lily Donaldson, whose tiny bowler lay slightly askew atop her beautiful blonde waves.

MOST LIKELY TO SIGNAL THE START OF A RACE

Barbara Fialho on the runway at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Photo: Getty Images

Decked out in black-and-white checkers and stripes, Barbara Fialho could easily tell drivers to start their engines. She could also hop behind the wheel, if she wanted, because she has a helmet and gloves.

MOST TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED

Lindsay Ellingson on the runway at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Photo: Getty Images

Lindsay Ellingson got to wear Victoria’s Secret’s first 3D printed bra, which was designed by 3D printing company Shapeways and custom-made for Lindsay’s form. Also printed were here snowflake shoulder pieces and headpiece, which look as delicate as real snowflakes. Good thing they didn’t melt when they hit her skin, amirite?

MOST LIKELY TO MAKE YOU SNEEZE

Lily Aldridge on the runway at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Photo: Getty Images

Lily Alridge, like Lindsay Ellingson, was part of the “Snow Angels” collection, but her snowflakes look more like dandelions? Her pose also looks like she’s blowing an imaginary one, so I guess she doesn’t care about her fellow angels’ allergies.

MOST PERPLEXING LOOK

Devon Windsor on the runway at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Photo: Getty Images

Um, what is this? Sequin pants with velvet suspenders? A frontless onesie? Does this look only #werk if you’re willing to not wear a shirt? Similarly, why does Devon Windsor get to carry a guitar on the runway? Congrats on your confusing look, Devon.

BEST OPTION FOR A NEVER-NUDE

Karlie Kloss on the runway at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Photo: Getty Images

Karlie Kloss was outfitted not in a bra or underwear, but in a sequined nude bodysuit. According to Karlie’s Instagram, this is a “#SnowAngel bodysuit” which looks quite different than the bodysuit I wear when making snow angels, TBH (mine involves a parka and snow pants).

BEST.

Sara Sampaio on the runway at the 2013 Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show.
Photo: Getty Images

Okay, so “Best” isn’t a superlative given out in yearbooks (imagine the drama!), but when we saw this emoji wings outfit, no other word came to mind. We’ll even ignore that they dressed Sara Sampaio in socks and lace-up leopard print stilettos because our happiness re: emojis trumps all other feelings.

+ MORE PHOTOS FROM THE VICTORIA’S SECRET FASHION SHOW

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