Halloween 2013: The Lazy Girl’s Guide

As you well know by now, thanks to Miley as Lil Kim, Iggy as Cruella De Vil, and Ellen DeGeneres as shirtless Nicki Minaj, Halloween is RIGHT. NOW. If you don’t have a costume yet, you, my friend, are a certifiable Lazy Girlâ„¢. Hey, us, too! *high fives* We’re a special breed that needs to stick together, so just in case you need some help figuring out what kind of costume you can cobble together for tonight, we’re throwing you a few ideas.


Photo: Urban Outfitters/Home Depot/Amazon

Laziness Factor: 5
Originality Factor : 8

Thanks to the wide availability of Morphsuits this Halloween season (they’re selling them at Urban Outfitters right now!), you can easily pull together a simple yet effective video game model costume. Cop an all-black Morphsuit then laden it with strips of yellow duct tape from your local hardware store and some ping pong balls (a.k.a. “sensors”) glued to your joints! Sure, there’s some assembly required, but you also don’t have to do your makeup OR hair. Or you can just wear the black Morphsuit and be a ~shadow~, but this look is way cooler, TBH.

+ Morphsuit: Morphsuit Costume ($48.00)
+ Yellow Duct Tape: Duck 1.88 in. x 20 yds. Yellow Duct Tape ($3.93
+ Ping Pong Balls: Table Tennis Balls 144/pk ($13.94


Photo: Kmart

Laziness Factor: 10
Originality Factor: 1

Much like the now-ubiquitous onesie, an inflatable costume takes care of all your Halloween needs with one garment. Unlike the onesie, Halloween is pretty much the only time it’s even marginally acceptable for you to wear clothes equipped with small machinery. Also, how can you NOT take advantage of the opportunity to wear a four-legged costume WITHOUT the need for a second person?? This is a no brainer for at least one night of your Halloween festivities.

+ Inflatable Tube Man: Wacky Wiggler Adult Costume $26.49
+ Centaur Costume: Totally Ghoul Inflatable Centaur Halloween Costume $23.99


Photo: Staples/Target

Laziness Factor: 9
Originality Factor: 5

Ok. The only reason this isn’t a 10 on the Lazy Scale is because you have to craft together the plumbob headband, but if you’re at all familiar with The Sims, you’ll know that all this costume requires is constructing that green diamond to float above your head because you can just wear your IRL clothes.

+ Construction Paper: Staples Construction Paper, 9″ x 12″, Assorted Colors, 200 Sheets ($6.29)
+ Headband: Goody 3-Count Black Headbands ($3.59)


Photo: Spirit Halloween/American Apparel

Laziness Factor: 6
Originality Factor: 6

Finally, this is a liiiiittle off-the-wall, but c’mon, you’re desperate aren’t you?? Well, you could always be a Bearded Lady! Much like the Sim costume, you could just wear your regular clothes with whatever beard speaks to you at your nearest Halloween shop, but we think this metallic lamé stuff from American Apparel is just freak show-festive enough to make it at least look like your tried a little.

+ Beard: Redneck Brown Beard ($8.99)
+ Gold Bodysuit: Shiny Tank Bodysuit ($27.99)
+ Metallic Blue Shorts: Shiny High-Waist Workout Short ($28.00)

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