Lady Gaga Has A Hairy Day

Lady Gaga in Berlin.
Photo: Splash News

Ummm. Someone left her Berlin hotel earlier today in this “outfit.” Any guesses? No, it is not Michelle Obama. Nope, it’s not Miley Cyrus. Yes, it IS LADY GAGA! DING DING DING. Yesterday, she walked around with a claw in an airport, and today, she’s walking around Berlin in this blonde merkin mask. She knows Halloween is next Thursday, right? So awkward.

Outfit-wise, she has on a chartreuse trench coat dress with fur sleeves, but NO 1 CURR about her clothes when that is on her head. I mean. Seriously, what is that? A hat? A mask? A disguise because she’s about to go commit a robbery? Maybe a closer look will help us understand what’s going on up there.

Lady Gaga in Berlin.
Photo: Splash News

Based on the tight grip she has on her bodyguard, she cannot see. Based on her head tilt, the thing is heavy. Based on that gilded beak, she cannot breathe. What can she do? Accept roses, sign autographs, have her picture taken. Just normal everyday stuff, NBD. She’s just got an oversized merkin on her head, whatevz, move along.

Lady Gaga in Berlin.
Photo: Getty Images

Upon closer inspection, the tiny eye cut-outs are gold too. You fancy, huh, Gaga? This bad boy is tall, too, like, adding at least a foot to her height. Between this and her shoes, she’s probably, like, 8 feet tall. What a perfect opportunity to play some b-ball, Gaga, get out there! Show them how you can dunk. JK, each of those items are so heavy you will not be able to jump one inch off the ground. Sorry.

Lady Gaga in Berlin.
Photo: Getty Images

So after Lady Gaga was done walking around with that giant thing on her head, she changed into a much more ~casual~ look for her ARTPOP listening party. You know, just some leather lingerie, thigh-high boots, a fur coat, and a mustache made from what looks like some fur from her jacket liner? Just normal things, guys! Why is everyone acting like this is so weird? Are your Thursdays not filled with merkin masks and mink mustaches? I GUESS YOU’RE NOT LIVING.

Do you think Gaga will wear these looks multiple times à la her Botticelli babe bikini, or are these just one-time treats? Where’s the claw? What does it all mean? ARTPOP drops in less than a month: I hope we have some answers by then. Until then, build yourself a triangular mask or trim some fur off of a fur coat ’cause Halloween is a-comin’.

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