It's crunch time, y'all. Halloween is NEXT. WEEK. If you haven't figured out what your costume is going to be by now, chances are you're feeling a little uninspired. Your roommate already claimed Miley Cyrus or you missed the boat on that Lady Gaga group costume, and your friends aren't big enough Beliebers to get that Justin Bieber as Robin look. That's OK. We still haven't even touched on the wild and wonderful hotbed of Halloween costumes that is television. Since everyone and their mom is going use All Hallows' Eve to mourn the gaping hole left by the end of Breaking Bad, we're going to skip it because those DIYs (even "sexy" versions) already exist. Same goes for Game of Thrones and the already Halloween-ready zombies and witches of The Walking Dead and American Horror Story respectively. We're helping you out with the tougher, slightly more unorthodox costumes.
JA'MIE: PRIVATE SCHOOL GIRL
Photo: HBO/Spirit Halloween/ASOS/eBay
That's right. Ja'mie's back. Chris Lilley is bringing everyone's favorite Private School Girl back for a new series starring the "Ja'miezing" Miss King. The new show will hit HBO Sunday, November 24th at 10:30 p.m. EST, and you better believe we'll be watching—no offense, anything else that's on TV at that time. Bonus: since the premiere is after Halloween, you can recycle this outfit for a "no fugly skanks allowed" viewing party.
+ Wig: Long Straight Brown Adult Wig ($19.99)
+ Striped Shirt Dress: Vero Moda Skater Shirt Dress ($35.60)
+ Blazer: Vero Moda Blazer With Contrast Trim ($42.72)
+ Crest Patch: Heraldic Gold Firebird Crown Crest On Black Iron On Patch ($3.09)
+ Socks: ASOS 5 Pack Socks ($17.80)
+ Mary Janes: New Look Lox Mary Jane Shoes ($32.02)
ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK
Photo: Netflix/American Work Apparel/Amazon/Home Depot
Netflix's Orange Is The New Black was the sleeper TV hit of the year, and it's only right you pay it homage on orange's BIGGEST day of the year. Also, it's criminal (heh) how easy this costume is: jumpsuit + Vans + screwdriver + don't you dare do your hair or makeup. Done!
+ Jumpsuit: Orange Twill Action Back Overalls ($26.74)
+ Shoes: Vans Classic Slip-On Shoes ($23.45 - $63.00)
+ Screwdriver: Iron Bridge 4 in. Phillips Head Screwdriver ($0.98)
BEHIND THE CANDELABRA
On the complete opposite end of spectrum, if you'd rather go full-on Liberace in honor of HBO's Behind The Candelabra, that's going to take a lot of effort and even more coin. If you can come by a head-to-toe sequin suit, more power to you, but if not, we think a silver blazer with a white ruffled shirt and roomy white trousers paired with the right silver accessories will do the trick. Top it all off with an extravagant fur, pin your hair up into a fluffy pompadour, and you'll be the star of every party.
Photo: ASOS/Boardroom Ties
+ Coat: ASOS Faux Fur Pelted Coat ($142.38)
+ Sequin Blazer: French Connection Sequin Drape Blazer ($311.46)
+ Ruffled Shirt: ASOS PETITE Exclusive Shirt With Ruffle Front ($62.29)
+ Pants: AQ AQ Laurent Pant With High Waist And Wide Leg ($177.98)
+ Shoes: ASOS MANDEM Pointed Flat Shoes ($62.29)
+ Bow Tie: Boardroom Pre-Tied Bow Tie - Silver Ivy ($18.99)
Photo: SyFy/Hanes/Zooscape/Walmart/Birthday Direct
If TV movies on the *achem* lower brow end of things are more your style, may we suggest you dress up as the sharknado? SyFy's unexpected hit starring Tara Reid caught major life after Twitter BLEW UP during its airing, and someone should definitely celebrate it. This one requires a bit more craftiness than the other three, but the joke is so worth the work. You'll need a plain gray tee and matching sweatpants for your base. Next, size a hula hoop (you can find them in most large grocery stores or Walmart or Target) to a loose diameter, just larger than your shoulders. If the hula hoop is originally too big, you can cut it and staple it back together at the appropriate size.
Cover the hula hoop in black tulle so you can't see the original color, then staple that to the t-shirt in a way that it would encircle you at shoulder-height. Attach one end of the remaining tulle to the hoop and get someone to help you wrap it around and around your torso until your waist. Don't worry about it looking perfect; you're a tornado. Staple the end to the bottom of the t-shirt. Now you have a top!
For the bottom, haphazardly cover the sweatpants in black tulle, securing ends to hems with more staples. Finally, glue some toy sharks all over your tornado self and embark on your Halloween adventures. You earned it.
+ Gray T-Shirt: Hanes Tagless Regular T-Shirt ($10.00)
+ Gray Sweatpants: Hanes Comfortblend Ecosmart Men's Sweatpants ($8.99)
+ Hula Hoop: Hula Hoop The Original by Wham-o ($6.13)
+ Black Tulle: David Textiles Tulle, 54" Wide, 40 Yard Bolt ($23.97)
+ Shark Toys: Shark Toy Favors ($7.60)