Why does this floral ears headband exist?
Photo: Urban Outfitters
At face-value, without any context, these floral cat ears really aren’t that offensive. Who doesn’t like flowers? Or animals? What harm did headbands ever do to anyone? It all seems innocent enough. Prim, sweet, feminine, whatever. But (for us anyway) there’s something truly sinister that lies within this headband’s ingredients. This is the ill-advised headgear lovechild of 2012’s two landmark fashion phenomenons: flower crowns and cat ears. And THAT, the reckless combination of these two things into a separate genre of accessory, makes this floral ears headband the evil Frankenstein’s monster of played out mega-trends. Also, our collective worst nightmare.
Judging from this year’s Coachella trends (and a day in the life of Katy Perry), bohemian flower crowns are still very much alive and kicking whether we like it or not. And thanks to Taylor Swift’s “22” music video, cat ears are, too. But mashing the two into one autonomous object—a veritable cesspool of doe-eyed whimsy *shudders*—is just depraved. Like, what even are you?? Plant or beast? Flora or fauna? IDENTIFY YOURSELF!! *flings fistful of Reese’s Pieces at computer monitor*
At the end of the day, perhaps we’re just afraid of these floral cat ears because we don’t understand them. As a unit, the MTV Style clan has a distinct propensity toward heavy metal hardware, junk food motifs, and all leather everything, and this floral ears headband falls squarely outside of our comfort zone. After all, you fear what you don’t know, right? Does that inherently render this thing EVIL, though? Technically, no. But in our hearts, this is the scariest thing we’ve seen all day, and we’re gritting our teeth that this mutated combination doesn’t catch on. What do you think? Would you wear this?