One Direction’s Madame Tussauds wax figures.
Photo: Getty Images
There are moments in this job when you start to question what stories you’re following for yourself and what you’re staying apprised of to ensure you’re doing your very best work. For example, have I been counting down the days until today’s reveal of the One Direction wax figures because I’m supposed to or because I’m genuinely interested in the prospect of static, life-size versions of Niall, Zayn, Louis, Liam, and Harry existing for the sole purpose of ogling, posing with, and visiting any time I want? It’s… hard to tell. Regardless of whatever my motivations are, the fact of the matter is: I am in too deep with 1D. To the point where I correctly identified the original event wherein the Brit-Irish boy band wore the outfits that inspired these wax figure ensembles. IN. ONE. GUESS. (It was their March 2012 performance on NBC’s Today Show if you were wondering.)
One Direction on NBC’s Today Show in March 2012.
Photo: Getty Images
There have been a LOT of wax figures to grace this earth. And a lot of them have been pretty bad. In the historical canon of wax treatments, these One Direction figures are actually impressively accurate. HOWEVER… (Not to be a total troll and nit-pick at a project that took WEEKS to come to fruition, buttttt I’m about to do just that.) There are just some near-misses with the dudes’ outfits and overall styling that, as self-described guardians of the fashion-aspect of 1D’s anthropological representation, we can’t ignore.
First and most glaring, Louis is missing suspenders. The fact that his sleeves aren’t rolled up, we can let slide, but the lack of shoulder straps? As a Tomlinson style-signature, this feels a bit unforgivable (only “a bit” because…we’re talking wax figure outfits, after all). Second and a little harder to spot, there are major discrepancies between Harry’s two sets of accessories. Rendered in wax, Harry wears a large cuff watch (instead of the skinnier friendship bracelet-type wrist-swaddlings) and two necklaces: a silver cross necklace and some sort of blue pendant situation (instead of his go-to gold coin and silver airplane). Again, do I know these details for my job or just because I want to know them? *shrugs*
The rest is all even more annoyingly granular (yes, it can get worse than that), but the last thing we’d like to point out is everyone’s hair. Hair is CRITICAL to the total 1D look, and its rare that we see these domes with anything less than salon-status. The INSTANT one strand is in a different position or hue, we take notice. That said, there are many more foreheads happening on these wax figures than the dudes in the OG Today Show photo. Is that because their coiffures are modeled after each guys’ current hairstyles? I don’t know. Am I going to stop talking about this before I convince myself to book a flight to London to take a bottle of hair gel to these statues myself? Yes.