Joe Jonas, A$AP Rocky, And More Are Our Dream Prom Dates

Welp, when you spend as many hours as we do thinking about prom (AFTER having graduated from high school a long, long time ago), it's only a matter of time until you start daydreaming about who you'd like to take as your date if it all went down today. Rather than just waxing nostalgic about our teenage glory days, we're taking prom to the next level (translation: our brains have been thoroughly broken by looking for a few too many princess dresses) and picking out our DREAM prom dates (for this year, anyway). It's a harder task than it sounds—we can't ALL take Ryan Gosling or Justin Timberlake or Kanye or hey, even Beyonce (uhhhh, HELLO, having a Single Ladies night with King Bey would be un-freaking-believable)—but someone's gotta we elected to do it. Read on as we delve deep into who we'd take, why we'd take him, what he'd wear and sooooo much more. Enjoy and try not to be too creeped out in the process!


Calvin Harris

Joe Jonas.
Photo: Via 'Paper' Magazine

Why he'd be a good date: Well, let me just put it this way, if this was Joe Jonas' response to a girl asking him to her spring formal then, well, prom is gonna be a ball, y'all. Between him staring longingly into the distance sans shirt (over a saxy jam, mind you) and talking about pulling his weight in the relationship while lifting dumbbells in skin-tight shorts, it's obvious Joe is total boyfriend, er, prom date material. He's funny, downright adorable, and, in case you've been living on a remote, internetless island for the past 10ish years, boy can SANG. Also, thanks to being in a band with his bros, he can dance/play guitar/do jazz hands/the whole shebang, so prom is basically that minus a million screaming girls and just me. Alone. In his arms.

What he'd wear: Not to be all, "Joe's the best-dressed dude EVAR," but he kiiinda is. Even GQ (reluctantly) admitted that he's a style star, so I'd hope he would pull out ALL the stops for his prom look. I'm guessing he'd sport a show-stopping tailored suit, a punchy shirt, skinny tie, classic oxfords, a hipster accessory (think: plastic glasses or bowler hat), and, of course, his signature stubble.

What we'd do: He'd probably want to do some semi-embarrassing-yet-still-adorable prom photo sesh before we leave (um, have you seen those pics of him jumping on a trampoline in a tux?), then we'd hit the dance floor until we sweat our balls off, and head out just before the dance ended. He'd take me to the beach where would we chill as he played some ditties on his guitar (about how gorge and amazing I am, obvi) and then we'd jump in the water—still wearing our clothes—because, um, haiiiii wet Joe Jonas. O____O Annnnd this is where I'll stop because I'm creepy and disgusting and I don't want y'all to judge me. Love you, Joe. Bye.


Calvin Harris

Calvin Harris.
Photo: Getty Images

Why he'd be a good date: Are you kidding? Calvin Harris is SMOKING hot! Between his pale blue eyes, his height (he's 6'5"!), and his charming Scottish accent, this guy's attractiveness quotient is basically off the charts as far as I'm concerned. But beside all these, um, shallow reasons (sorryimnotsorry), he's the type of dude who can make any situation fun and seriously get the party started. After all, that's prettyyyy much his job. He's used to playing packed arenas with everyone from Rihanna to Florence Welch; and not to mention, judging from his new music video with Ellie Goulding, he seems like quite the romantic. Now if THAT'S not the making of the perfect prom date, I don't know what is.

What he'd wear: Although he tends to stick with casual basics onstage, for a big event like prom he'd up the ante in formal classics. Think a black suit and skinny tie, just like he did at the Brit Awards in the photo above. That scruffy 5 o'clock shadow and piercing gaze can stay, too, I GUESS...

What we'd do: He'd pick me up (preferably in a convertible like this) before going to the dance. After being crowned prom king and queen (because he's too gorgeous not to be and this is my fantasy), we'd ditch out early because the music's lame. We'd grab some friends and throw a giant house party. And considering this is Calvin Harris (!!) we're talking about here, it's only a matter of time before our "anti-prom" turns into the rest of the school following suit.


Calvin Harris

A$AP Rocky.
Photo: Mr Porter

Why he'd be a good date: Oh geez. Where do I even begin? From the INSTANT we started planning out this Dream Prom Date post, I called dibs on A$AP Rocky. Since I have a boyfriend and Rocky is rumored to be dating SLAMMIN' Victoria's Secret Angel Chanel Iman (also, they’re adorbz and take matching shoe pics), we'd be 99.99999% platonic dates. *wink* BUT STILL, as far as I'm concerned, Rocky would be the picture-perfect prom date. Literally. From a purely photographic standpoint, Pretty Flacko being a former Calvin Klein model and all, the pictures would turn out beautifully. He's already devastatingly handsome with the kind of dazzlingly white smile that orthodontists have wet dreams about (sorry...too far?), but he also knows how to work his angles. And he knows better than to fall into those corny standard prom poses. He'd be impeccably dressed (we'll get to that in a minute) and right on-trend, but what's more, he’d appreciate whatever fashion risks I decide to take with my ensemble. Perhaps most importantly, though, Rocky's the perfect prom date because you know he'll be wild for the night. *ba dum TSH*

What he'd wear: Uhhh, anything he wants? I was never super hell-bent on matching with my date back in my high school days, but the most prom-applicable part about Rocky and his style strategy is that the dude has strong leanings toward stark, monochromatic, black-and-white outfits. A color palette that basic goes with everything, so I can take him and trust that our ensembles will gel well together no matter what he wears. The other thing is: Rocky has a closet (and apparently also an archive?) STACKED with high fashion goodies. He'll come swaddled in Raf Simons, Rick Owens, Margiela, and top it all off with a crisp white snapback. In all honesty, I'll probably be asking HIM for wardrobe tips (or *achem* hook-ups with his designer bestie Alexander Wang).

What we'd do: Well, for starters, he'd pick me up ON TIME in a black 1969 Jaguar convertible à la "Goldie." I'd hop in passenger-side, and Pretty Flacko would drive us around a town monument (I guess for Manhattan it would be the Empire State Building?) for a few laps, ALSO à la "Goldie." He'll blast a new song he's been working on, and we'll get out to go have dinner and take date pics with the rest of the A$AP Mob (Rocky will ensure there's a healthy balance of grills and no-grills photos taken). At dinner, we'll both order salads (he's a vegetarian, guys), and he'll compliment my outfit for approximately the first half-hour just because common interest, duh, but the conversation will evolve quickly. When it's time to go to the dance, we'll spend a little time upon arrival privately clowning the chaperone teachers' formal wear, but we'll mostly just be heckling with the DJ to play more Biggie and looking for snacks.


Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
Photo: Getty Images

Why he'd be a good date: Being handsome isn't all it takes to make a great date, although it helps to like the looks of the eyes you're staring wistfully into from across the table/dance floor/limo/whatever. No, a hot boring dude is the most disappointing kind. I want a man with passions and interests and a good pair of dancing' shoes. With these criteria my dream prom date is obvious: Joseph Gordon-Levitt. He's handsome, certainly, and he looks great in a suit, but he's also funny, and creative, and smart, and he can dance. Did I mention we've never met? Yeah, I'm a total creep, but let me have my dream man for my dream date, ok?! Joseph, or Joe, as I call him (heh) is a man of many talents, between his acting career and his arts organization hitRecord, so we would have tons to talk about, AND he could tell me how they shot the upside down scenes in Inception!

What he'd wear: Joe is a fan of a classic tux, but we've also seen him styled for various magazines in a wide variety of menswear looks. I think maybe something a little more playful than a classic penguin suit would suit Joe's mischievous grin and sharp style. Maybe a slim, English cut suit sans tie, and some sporty black shoes, a little broken-in?

What we'd do: Joe would pick me up and we would make an adventure out of getting there, singing along to a mix he made for the occasion while driving to the dance. Once there, we would just see where the night took us, doing a little dancing, talking about music, and art, and the projects we're working on, and then dancing some more. I don't get the vibe that Joe would be a particularly tough crowd, so he wouldn't get bored if the music sucked or the people were lame. This is a guy who knows how to make his own fun, and that's exactly what we would do before sneaking away for more adventures all over the city until the sun came up.

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