Would You Wear Topshop’s Mom Jeans?

Would you wear Topshop’s Mom Jeans?
Photo: Topshop

Recognize these bad boys? This mid-rise inseam? This dull, uniformly blue denim wash on the left or the crosshatch bleach steez on the right? This drumstick leg-inducing silhouette? This universally unflattering tapered cut? Hug your skinny jeans tight and kiss them goodnight, ladies. Topshop appears to be under the impression that mom jeans are back and trending for Spring/Summer 2013. We’ve seen and gut-reaction scoffed at plenty of rising trends — leather overalls, melting tights, etc. — but can usually parse out a reason someone might think they’re a good idea. That’s because these things are usually either 100 percent new ideas or at the very least refreshed versions of older trends. The mom jeans Topshop is selling are neither of those things. Make no mistake, y’all. This is a cautionary tale. A web-based, editorial “POUND THE ALARM” warning you, the presumably ugly-butt-fearing public, against The Return of the Mom Jean.

Don’t get us wrong. We LOVE Topshop. We’re loyal customers. We subscribe to the newsletter. We can ID pieces on Demi Lovato (ICYMI: she wears a lot of Topshop) at the drop of a hat because we tried the same outfit on last weekend. But this? We can’t turn a blind-eye to this. In a slideshow highlighting what Topshop dubs the biggest trends for the coming Spring/Summer season, the throwback denim trousers plus a big, bold title reading “Ain’t no mom jeans” appear to be the crown jewel, kicking things off. “Believe it or not but belly button grazing, rolled-up jeans aren’t just for mums anymore!” reads the slide, “A throwback trend of the early ’90s, this classic cut is back.” Nononononononono. Guys. This roomy-in-all-the-wrong-places cut paired with the thick rigidity of denim does favors for NO ONE.

“The ’mom’ jean is here for SS13 and has never looked cooler!” Topshop continues despite our yelling and throwing Swedish fish at the computer screen (*KILL IT BEFORE IT LAYS EGGS!*), “With their high-waist and loosely tapered leg, they’re the perfect pairing for the all-important crop top. Go collegiate cool and style them up with sporty separates but make sure it’s a pair of killer heels and not school-run trainers on your feet.” I mean, okay. So the difference Topshop is trying to make here is the styling. Instead of pastel polo shirts and Keds, you’re rocking them with a bodycon crop top and deadly-weapon pumps. It’ll make a difference, for sure, but at the end of the day, we’ll never be able to look at someone wearing mom jeans without the below (BRILLIANT) SNL sketch playing in the back of our minds. You’ve been warned! *drops mic and walks away*


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