Kelly Osbourne at Art Basel in Miami.
Raise your hand/strawberry daq-filled glass if you've been obsessed with Kelly Osbourne since her teen goth days circa MTV's The Osbournes aka the best reality television shit-show since Real World San Fran. Remembs the one amazing time when Mama Osbourne tossed a honey baked ham over her neighbor's fence? *Nostalgia tears* Anyway, I love a good cheeky Brit with a fearless walk-in closet (see also: Ginger Spice), so when I met Kelly over the blackout-friendly Miami Art Basel weekend (see: ran up to her posse whilst belting her Madonna "Papa Don't Preach" cover), I was quite the starry-eyed gay. 'Twas not just an ordinary Basel bash infinity poolside at the Standard Hotel -- a sea of immaculately dressed cuties in their LAMD© best (FYI: Look At Me Device is brought to you by my BFF/Bravo Gallery Girl, Angela Pham) got shwasted in celebration of Terry Richardson's new book whilst probs not buying said new book and instead opting for booty bouncing/"You go, girl!!!"s to Azealia Banks' CRAY performance complete with many a perfect purple weave whipping moments (and, hiiii, a Pharrell *FAINTS* Williams sighting). Anywhoo, I chatted with Kelly about her lavender '50s prom-friendly hair do upkeep which, spoiler alert, she revealed involves old lady hair mousse. I also chit-chatted with her about Joan Rivers as a grandma figure/Lordes "Lola" Leon as a BFF, her signature scent for which she's rocked since the age tween, and other uh-mazing things that made me blush/visibly schvitz my Manic Panic blue sea-punk dye all down my mug. Yeah, I'm a professional journalist or something. The things I do for y'all dear MTV steez readers… Read on, cuties.
KELLY OSBOURNE: It's the best job I've ever had in my life! I get to work with such an icon and somebody who is the most brilliant and educated and professional person in my entire life. I didn't think that somebody could be as smart as my mother and Joan is. That's why we get along so well because she's like my mom -- she's like the grandmother I've never had. And Melissa, her daughter, is now like me sister. We're now one great happy family and that's rare in the fashion world.
The Fashion Police is so impressively anti eye-roll inducing, which is a SUCH A FEAT in the fashion world tbh…
The thing that we noticed is that the fashion world got taken so seriously, people were miserable and hungry and weren't doing what they wanted to do because they had to fix in this little box that the fashion world created. What's so great about Fashion Police is we break that down and show people how superficial it really is. It's just fun! What you wear today in six months you'll be like "Oh my God, why'd I wear that?" Fashion changes every six months.
Let's talk about your pretty face. What products helps you maintain your drop dead gorge-ness?
I only wear mineral makeup when I'm not working, but my favorite lipstick is Candy Yum-Yum from MAC.
You smell like an exotic flower.
It's called L'Artisan Parfumeaur's Mure et Musc and I've been wearing it since I was 12. My dad wouldn't let me wear makeup. *In her best Ozzy voice* "No daughter of mine is going to look like a whore!" So my mom compromised with me by letting me get perfume. I got it because the bottle was purple and I didn't even smell it. I've worn it so much to the point that I'll get in the elevator to get into a club and I'll get a call from one of my friends being like "Are you at blah blah blah?" and I'm like "Yeah… why?" And they're like "I smell you in the elevator!" It's so funny. Every member of my family has a signature scent…
Who are your fave designers?
Zac Posen, Miu Miu, Karl Lagerfeld… I'm a huge vintage Dior and Chanel fan.
I imagine your closet is faint-worthy. Name one item you cannot give away to your fave charity.
It's the most ridiculous thing and it's not high fashion at all. When my mom got pregnant with me, they went on a holiday to Hawaii and she bought a nightie that says Hawaii on it. She wore it all through her pregnancy with me and I have it. If anything ever happened to it, I'd be really really upset.
So, you worked with Madonna and Lourdes as the pretty face for the Material Girl line. NBD or OMFG?
It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life and I have nothing but the utmost respect for Madonna. I love how she does things and how professional and how loving she is to her children. I fell in love with Lola. It's so strange to me that she's so much younger than me but we are really good friends. I love her. Literally, If Lola called me up right now and said I need you to come to New York right now, I'd get on a plane and go to her.
I haven't forgotten your amazing "Papa Don't Preach" cover, girl.
How ironic is that that it kind of came full circle?!
And the black hair at the MTV Movie Awards!
It was pink then I dyed it black.
When can we expect a Kelly Osbourne album.
*Bats eyes* I'm not saying…
I really miss The Osbournes. Would you ever do reality TV again?
If it had a purpose. Not just me sitting on my ass at home doing nothing. If it was me creating a project then yes, but if there's no purpose then no.
I'm obsessed with your hurr. Walk me through the purple process.
I have to mousse it every day with this old lady mousse. For ladies that have white hair, it turns it grey but because mine is blonde it turns it purple. I have to do that everyday but other than that it's not that difficult. I wait two months to dye it so it can grow. It's become a bit of an anomaly of it's own -- it's like Kelly and Kelly's hair. It's kind of strange because it's not even quite a part of me even though it's my hair.