Smizing, ladies and gentlemen.
Photo: Getty Image
As Tyra Banks continues her quest for world domination, she can officially cross “Make the entire world smile with their eyes” off her to-do list. The model/talk show host/reality judge released a Smize Yourself! app this week that, well, does exactly what you think it would do: forces you to smize. Basically, it works like this: You pay $1.99, Tyra gives you a quick pep talk on how to smize (key points include: Use good lighting, have a dead mouth [seriously, she said that. DEAD. MOUTH. #zombie], and to think of something “you REALLY desire,” which, in my case, is Doritos), and then you jump right into it. You line your face up with the outline, snap a pic, adjust the markers, and voila! You’re supposed to look like a model. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen for me. I tried it and thought, “Whoa, am I normally this asymmetrical and deformed or did the smizing app do that?” and forced my co-workers to try it. Then, I posted their pics on the internet for everyone to see. BAHAHA. (JK, love you dudes!)
SMIZING TEST #1 OUTCOME: ALIEN EYES/HALF SMIZE
So, India was given wonky, stretched out alien eyes, while I was given only HALF a smize. What gives, y’all? I swear the other side of my face moves.
SMIZING TEST #2 OUTCOME: SWELLED CRANIUMS
First off, Rachel and Liza are both GORGEOUS individuals, but the Smize Yourself! tool gave them fiveheads and super slim cheeks. Wait a minute, is this app just transforming people’s faces into Tyra’s face? *looks suspiciously over shoulder*
SMIZING TEST #3 OUTCOME: CHISELED MODEL PHYSIQUE
Ooohhh, NOW we’re talkin’! Chelsea and Jason actually look really, really good. I’m not even mad that they have the EXACT same facial structure. P.S.— Jason, you really nailed the smize here. #WERK
SMIZING TEST #4 OUTCOME: SMIZING KNOWS NO BOUNDS
Um, you didn’t think I’d limit this to just, like, real people did you? I wanted to try it on Justin Bieber and Beyoncé, and lucky for me, I had really great face shots of them lying around (a.k.a. I just walked over to Gaby’s desk and took a bunch of photos). Justin’s hair somehow managed to get bigger than usual, while Bey looks oddly A LOT like Tyra here. (Cue Twilight Zone theme song.) Download the app, and let us know how your smizing pics turn out!