Shower Cat is stunned by your weird bathing habits.
Photo: Getty Images/Hulya Ozkok
Girls and extra-long-haired dudes, you know how sometimes you shed hair while you’re in the shower? You’re lather-rinse-repeating your glossy mane, and sometimes when you hit that second step, a few strands fall out and into your hands. It’s a totally normal, human thing, like having finger and toenails that grow and require clipping. But what we want to know is: what do you do from there? What do you do after you realize you have hair in your hand? We at MTV Style have come to the realization that, contrary to our self-centric beliefs about the world, there are actually several different routes on which this situation can travel, and we’d like to unpack them for you. A word of warning to the easily squeamish and weak-stomached: I would probably stop reading here because I’m about to go IN on some weird, hairy bathing habits.
The fruits of our extensive research (a.k.a. a punchy staff conversation we had late last night) have revealed to us that while there are different methods for shower hair disposal, the distribution of people who subscribe to each one is surprisingly even. As far as we know, there are three stand-out types that people generally fall into based on their shower hair habits. We’re calling them “The Cold Shoulder,” “The Stowaway,” and “The Pollock.” Allow us to explain…
The Cold Shoulder: More than a fantastic Adele track, this is probably the most publicly accepted way to rid yourself of the hair you shed in the shower. Rather than overthinking the situation and getting all, “OMG, my own hair is in my hands! What do I do with it now? AAAAHHHHH,” you’re cool, calm, and collected in the face of your own hygiene. You’re the kind of person who just lets the hair fall, forgets it happened, and picks it up later, IF NEED BE.
The Stowaway: This method of hair disposal is the rational middleground. You take a logical approach to your shower hair. You realize that if you drop it, it’ll just go toward the drain and potentially clog it. But you also don’t want to be staring your own discarded strands of hair in the face all shower long. Thus, you go the practical route, stowing it neatly away on the ledge of your tub, right next to your shampoos and soaps, and pick it up with a tissue once you’re done.
The Pollock: There are people who shrug at problems and then there are people who innovate solutions. Named after the infamous American painter Jackson Pollock and his drip painting hallmark style, this is where we categorize the people who take their fallen hair and slap it onto the tiled shower walls (with the full intention of cleaning it up before they leave the bathroom, of course). Yep, that’s a thing that several people in this world do, and at the risk of publicly shaming myself and my family, it’s something I do. (In my parents’ defense, when my mom discovered I did this, she first laughed in my face, then stared at me in disbelief, horrified by the monster she had raised.) This method is also named after an artist because we’ve found that some people take the wall hair one step further, making their own shower hair ART. There’s even a Tumblr for it. (Though, like, what isn’t there a Tumblr for?)
Now, we turn the question back to you! What do YOU do with your hair in the shower? Do you fall into one of our three types? Is there a method we’re missing? Did you make it through this whole post or are you dry-heaving into a desk trashcan right now? Let us know in the comments below!