Would You Wear Picnic Pants?

Acquacalda’s “Pic Nic Pants.”
Photo: Courtesy of Acquacalda

Don’t know what Picnic Pants are? Don’t worry, neither did we until our worlds were cataclysmically altered by our friends at Huffington Post. Also, context clues. The good people at Acquacalda have constructed a pair of pants with a between-the-legs panel and built-in cup holder for all your picnicking surface needs. That’s right, folks! We all thought holding your own plate or setting your Solo cup in a nearby patch of grassless dirt was never worth the trouble, but Acquacalda is brave enough to say it and provide a solution. Finally (FINALLY!!!) you can eat your burgers and potato salad right off your groin.

Acquacalda’s “Pic Nic Pants.”
Photo: Courtesy of Acquacalda

According to Acquacalda’s website, the pants are constructed of two things: “jeans” and “wall-tech inserts.” We’re not really sure what “wall-tech” means, and a quick Google got us no closer. It sort of reminds us of drywall and/or cubicle dividers, which makes us think they’re sturdy (maybe?), so yea. We’ll take it. It’s an interesting idea, for sure, but they can’t expect people to WILLINGLY wear these things, right?? I mean, couldn’t they have built them so the insert zips away or something? Or so the pants were at least all the same color instead of having that rubberized-looking crotch bib hanging between your legs? Come on, inventors.

MC Hammer and Acquacalda’s “Pic Nic Pants.”
Photo: Courtesy of Acquacalda

Though these pants aren’t what we’d catalog as “necessary,” they definitely give us new perspective on harem pants as picnic-wear. Since, real talk, that’s exactly what these Pic Nic Jeans are: mixed-media Hammer pants with a sidecar koozie. The overall silhouette, y’know if you squinted at them a little and imagined they were all the same color, isn’t that offensive, but that whackadoo inner panel (and the intention of constructing and eating a BLT off your lap) is what really kills them for us. But IDK, would you wear these pants?

{via Huffington Post}

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