Rihanna Goes 'Gangsta Goth Geisha' :(

Rihanna Geisha Outfit

Rihanna dressed up.
Photo: Via Rihanna's Instagram

Uuuuuuuuum. What? OK, can someone go hug Rihanna. Like, right now. What is going on with her lately? Like, seriously, I LOVE this chick but between that sheer shirt "wardrobe malfunction," this article about "getting your tits out" being a "great way to feel better about your body," this outfit, and the series of photographs you see here from Twitter where she talks about being a "Gangsta Goth Geisha" and dubbing herself #PrincessOfChina (named after her upcoming Coldplay song), I'm legit getting... worried. Look it, I know girl has a SQUAD of people around her supporting her and maybe saying no 37 percent less than they should be, and that my growing increasingly concerned about where her head's at is some barnacle on a blue whale's ass, but I just want to stay being in LUH with her and her music and now I'm getting TIRED. She is wearing chopsticks in her hair.

Look, don't get it twisted, I'm not saying she isn't beautiful. In fact, she's one of the most empirically gorgeous women in the universe. She has LED lights for pores and the absolute best eyebrows and lips you'd rip out of a magazine to take to your plastic surgeon who then laughs and laughs before snatching all your money anyway. And I also realize that this sort of fetishistic Orientalism is nothing new in music or fashion to where even contemporary Asian models (and P.S., I'm thrilled at the growing number of them) have to gird their loins, shimmy into a cheongsam made by some French dude, and ease onto their sides on hard, cherrywood chaise/bench things for the Vaseline-lensed cam to bust out "the Hottest Opium Fashion Editorial for fall EVER" (despite said being Korean or one-eighth Hawaiian), but I feel FEELINGS about one of my favorite artists playing dress up with "China Doll" bangs, that weird Angelina Jolie leg, those MEGALONG Thai gold fingernail "Fan Leb" joints, Chinese opera makeup, and embroidered silk tassel earrings because it's such a pupu platter of Asian hodgepodgery at the worst fusion restaurant ever. Stop making this a thing. It's soooooooo colonial Europe in a way that is NOT fresh. It's soooo circa Ceylon, you know?

Rihanna Geisha Outfit

Rihanna dressed up.
Photo: Via Rihanna's Instagram

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