Jennifer Lopez Sports Provocative Boxing Gear For ‘V’

Jennifer Lopez for “V” magazine.
Photo: Courtesy of “V” magazine

I often find myself seriously wondering whether Jennifer Lopez is pulling a Benjamin Button on us. I mean, GEEEEEEEZ, lady. I hope I look half this good when I’m 42. OK, I actually hope I look 100% this good when I’m her age, but a girl’s gotta think realistically about whatever dermatological effects New York City air exacts. Also, a sedentary lifestyle + too much ice cream. J.Lo’s remarkably youthful skin and physique, however, are unfortunately overshadowed in this particular cover shoot for V magazine. The photographic stylings of Mario Testino have girl looking Fight Club fierce, covetably sinewy and glistening, but one cannot ignore a certain protruding aspect of Miss Carine Roitfeld’s styling choice: Jenny from the block is toting a LADYPACKAGE. *brain bursts into flames*

Jennifer Lopez for “V” magazine.
Photo: Courtesy of “V” Magazine

I mean, come on now. A lot about the above photo is inarguably beautiful: the soft sheen of her flawless complexion, those strong brows set against well-bronzed cheeks, the wet-look slicked back coiffure, and of course, that itsy bitsy cut-off sports bra in all its glory. As racy as this set of shots is, so artfully laid out, I’m having a hard time appreciating the shock value of all that underboob because of the glossy padded JOCKSTRAP sitting below it. Afajkdfgakljf;k. Clearly, there’s a message of strength and sexuality meets aggression that’s meant for dispatch here because surely Carine was aware that there are female No-Foul protectors out there. But EGADS, my wires are all fried before I can even start to take that in because my eyes are drawn into a vortex of PADDED GROIN. What do you guys think?

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