Guys’ Pants We Would Never Give Back

Guys’ pants we’d never give back.
Photo: Courtesy of Mr Porter/J.Crew/FarFetch

If you haven’t already seen the trailer for MTV’s newest show I Just Want My Pants Back, first of all, *GASP*, and second, what are you waiting for?! Just in case you’re burdened by a laggy connection, we’ll cut you some slack and break it down for you. It’s a simple tease of boy meets girl. Boy likes girl. Boy and girl hook up. Girl steals boy’s pants and throws him off track with a phone number for a Chinese restaurant. ZING!

Now, don’t let the title fool you. This isn’t just some rat race, witch hunt for the dude’s missing jeans. The tongue-in-cheek series chronicles the misadventures of four twentysomethings, the lead Jason and his three friends, trying to make it in NYC, but the pants-stealing hook tooootally has weight. And so, in honor of tonight’s Pants series premiere (TONIGHT! at 11/10c on MTV), we’ve rounded up a bunch of guys’ pants we would absolutely steal and never give back.

Um, HAI, Burberry ikat trousers. Men’s, women’s, children’s, maternity, we would cop these pants in a heartbeat. A HEARTBEAT! In fact, the only thing stopping us from actually buying them right now is that $995 price tag. Which is only a little less than what we pay each month in rent and utilities. *whimper*

The boyfriend jean trend withstanding, denim doesn’t have to be the only style you “borrow” from dudes. Think outside the box and spring for those colored chinos! A fun color like these dusty pink Stanton pants from J.Crew or these canary yellow Band of Outsiders trousers could definitely pass as your own purchases.

More guys’ pants we’d never give back.
Photo: Courtesy of FarFetch/ASOS

Harem pants are unisex, right? We say, “YES,” so were we ever to cross paths with this delightful pair of Damir Doma harem pants during our, erm, escapades (morals and larceny charges aside), we wouldn’t think twice about snagging them. Granted, it would be pretty difficult to completely sever ties with a dude who actually owns and wears harem pants.

“Boyfriend” jeans don’t have to be relegated to super distressed vintage washes. A pastel like these baby blue Ben Sherman skinnies are just begging to be swiped by a girl. Plus, if you snag them now, they’ll carry you right through spring and summer!

These Elise Gettliffe gingham trousers would probably look better on us anyway. What with the cigarette slim legs, the studded fly, the flattering leather panel details at the hips, this is envelope-pushing unisex at its best. I mean, can’t you just see them with a flirty emerald blouse, some chunky gold cuffs, a simple updo, and some modestly heeled Chelsea boots? We can. Guys, lock your closets. I think we smell a trendy new ladyhobby.


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