The Most WTF Looks From Paris Haute Couture Week

When we think about Parisian style (as we do) a few words spring to mind: chic, effortless, elegant. Long-limbed women loping around the cobblestone walks like well-tailored gazelles. Casual afternoons in some sort of striped knit with a bateau neck. Gobs of red lipstick. A tilted chapeau. You know, our daydream visions of the City of Lights. Paris Haute Couture Week, though, is another beast entirely. Rather than stream-lined and sartorial, haute couture is a rare breed of animal that's custom-fit with the most luxurious fabrics, the most lavish beadwork, and sits patiently while a doting visionary sews it into the vestment by hand. With a club so exclusive, this week marks a specific time when this elite tier of designers is given license to go buck wild on the runway by sheer virtue of their detail-oriented awesomeness. And buck wild they did go. Let's take a look at the week's most WTF looks!

CURTAIN CALL AT ON AURA TOUT VU

A look from the On Aura Tout Vu Paris Haute Couture Spring 2012 runway show.
Photo: Getty Images

Much of what we saw on the On Aura Tout Vu runway we loved: bright pops of candy colors, prints that evolve three times over in one garment, and the MOST interesting developments in hosiery. This look, however, is a little *scrunches nose* IDK. You can "Never mind the model behind the curtain" all you want, but this peek-a-boo personal pan voting booth is hardly something we can ignore.

FEROCIOUS FEET AT IRIS VAN HERPEN

A look from the Iris Van Herpen Paris Haute Couture Spring 2012 runway show.
Photo: Getty Images

The entire showing at Iris Van Herpen was a big bucket of weirdtresting. We could honestly write a book on the anatomy of that collection from every spatially awkward skirt to the artful straddling of futuristic construction and nature-inspired materials. Most of all, though, we're fascinated by these fanged platform heels. And the dapple gray pony hair upper paired with these immaculate white teeth is so abominable snowman, they'll be starring in our nightmares for weeks.

UNI-CURLICUE AT GIORGIO ARMANI PRIVE

A look from the Giorgio Armani Prive Paris Haute Couture Spring 2012 runway show.
Photo: Getty Images

Is this the next step in/after fascinators? Forget about it even remotely resembling a hat. We just want the strangest piece of millinery you can think of erected on a woman's dome. Whatever you think of first. A curled onyx unicorn horn? Sure, someone'll wear it. Go nuts.

ONE GIANT LEAP AT JANTAMINIAU

A look from the Jantaminiau Paris Haute Couture Spring 2012 runway show.
Photo: Getty Images

A small step in those mega-platformed rhinestone booties would be difficult for any human, but this is a SUPERmodel. She traveled through space and time to tell us that in 10 years, we won't even need our knees anymore because everyone's brain is transplanted into an artificially engineered humanoid body, so clop around the pavement in those wooden heels all you want!!!!

RING AROUND THE ROSIE AT MAURIZIO GALANTE

A look from the Maurizio Galante Paris Haute Couture Spring 2012 runway show.
Photo: Getty Images

Dear Maurizio Galante runway model, I can see your halo. But sadly, I know you can't see because your vision is obstructed by several large (real? plastic?) flowers hanging right in front of your oculars. *sigh* Life is hard.

LIVING TROLL DOLL AT CHANEL

A look from the Chanel Paris Haute Couture Spring 2012 runway show.
Photo: Getty Images

Much of Karl Lagerfeld's Chanel haute couture collection was actually quite wearable. Even most of the beauty looks, albeit very stylized and retro at times, were very relatable. Apparently, Lindsey Wixson, however, managed to secure the most imaginitive hairstylist backstage. That, or said tonsorial magician just has the BEST hair spray. Linds has her tresses teased to such a vertical that girl looks like a (gorgeous) living troll doll. If only the dress had a bellybutton gem...

'THE MASK: PART 2' AT ALEXIS MABILLE

A look from the Alexis Mabille Paris Haute Couture Spring 2012 runway show.
Photo: Getty Images

Once upon a time, before Cameron Diaz was being cast as Hollywood starlets' moms, she was dropping jaws and unfurling cartoon tongues alongside Jim Carrey in The Mask. And if this Alexis Mabille model's face and chin-down-eyes-up from beneath that massive tissue flower doesn't scream, "Ssssomebody STOP ME!" to you, I give up on the internet.

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