Super sad animal sweaters.
Photo: Courtesy of Singer22, Topshop, and Urban Outfitters.
Listen, we’re sad that Christmas vacation is over and that New Year’s is just a faint, faint memory now, but man, retailers are making us feel REALLY depressed lately. As we’ve been perusing all these post-holiday sales, we’ve been searching for sweaters (because it’s, like, 10 degrees out), and we’ve stumbled across the strangest phenomenon—there are buttloads and buttloads of animals plastered on pullovers that look alarmingly distraught. It’s like, Y SO SAD, you know? I mean, earlier this week marked THE most depressing day of the entire year, but did they have to go and get all PETA guilt-trippy on us? We have no idea what’s making clothing designers want to screen print depressed puppies, melancholy bears, and lonely kittens on tees and sweaters, but it NEEDS to be discussed. First up—our favorite sadface animal sweaters. On the left, you’ll see a black and white pullover with an unhappy rottweiler on the front. And to tear even more at your heart strings, a tattered, unfinished bottom hem finishes the look to really make you feel like life’s not worth living (and it costs $141). At Topshop, you can scoop up a bunny knit sweater that screams, “I’m unhoppy,” and Urban Outfitters even carries a down-in-the dumps off-the-shoulder puppy sweatshirt. Are you crying yet?
Super sad animal tees.
Photo: Courtesy of Forever 21 and Modcloth.
But even when the weather starts to warm up, it doesn’t mean your attitude has to, either. There’s a plethora of triste tees you can get your hands on. Forever 21 has a sad AND embarrassed teddy bear top for under $14 (two for one deal!). Modcloth carries a “lovelorn” puppy tee in need of a serious cuddle sesh, but the KILLER, the absolute you-cannot-cry-without-looking-at-this-tee-shirt sobfest is the ASPCA “Wish I Had Some Yarn” kitty tee. You guysssss, look how sad that BABY CAT is. ALL IT WANTS IS SOME YARN. THAT IS IT. Just a ball of string to play with in its unhappy, joyless little life. *wipes tears away from corners of eyes* The only good thing about this T-shirt is that Forever 21 is donating $1 to the American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals every time one of these tees is purchased. *dries eyes* OK, I guess it isn’t so bad now.