Desigual Fans Freeze In The Name Of Fuggo Fashion

Desigual shoppers wait in line for free clothes in Madrid on Jan. 2.
Photo: Getty Images

Remember last summer when we discovered that clothing brand Desigual was doing a collab with French circus performers Cirque Du Soleil? We were all, " WHAAAATF??" from the kooky nonsensical graphics from the Spanish fashion label, and now we're just as flummoxed that they're holding this insane sale where the first 100 people who show up to their Madrid store half-naked can leave fully dressed with a free Desigual ensemble.

To each their own and everything but COME ON. You're telling us people would brave the weather for ONE top and ONE bottom from Desigual? What is it with people and free ish?! Have they actually looked at the clothing line?" Like, for real, we'd rather see these poor young'ns shivering in their underwear than sporting this 100% polyester mock turtleneck with a weird swirly thing on the stomach with legs coming out of it and a random letter "D" over their right boob. Plus, each garment retails for $76. On one hand, it's highway robbery to ask normal, thinking humans to part with cash to drag such monstrosities away from the stores and into their homes but given the 34 degree weather it's also not worth the flu risk. This isn't after all a Miu Miu or Rick Owens sample sale. Who are these sons and daughters and WHY HAVEN'T THEIR PARENTS TAUGHT THEM BETTER? Also, do all Spanish ladies wear very cute cotton bikini panties? So many questions...

What is SO appealing about JNCO-harem pant hybrids that a barrage of half-naked people will come swarming at the crack of dawn just to get their hands on them? I mean, we've been tricked by Desigual before. We see their ads plastered everywhere, and it doesn't look SO bad. In fact, on one occasion, one may have been visiting Amsterdam and in the heat of the moment decided to give the store a try at which point retinas became scorched from the loud prints and one's seeing-eye-friend had to help one outside. You don't need to know any gruesome details further than: "Nylon Paisley Puffy Coat". We like that this brand is all about positivity and fun and being "atypical," but isn't there, like, a line of aesthetic grossness that no matter how HAPPY you are just turns out supersadface? And even though they call this a "funny experience," we're just concerned about hypothermia. Well, at least they picked a warmer city for their next semi-nude event.

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