Kristen Stewart Is A Fairy-Tale Warrior Goddess In ‘Snow White And The Huntsman’

Chris Hemsworth and Kristen Stewart in “Snow White and the Huntsman.”
Photo: Courtesy of Universal Pictures

We’re starting to ache over how much we’re DYING to see Snow White and the Huntsman. Every time an image is released or new info emerges, we devour it like a box of warm maple glazed donuts. Well, folks, hug yo’selves and reach for the napkins because a new poster for the movie has arrived, and it’s comforting, delicious, and totally drool-inducing! I mean, GEEEEEZ, Kristen Stewart is truly the fairest of them all in this new photo, right? She’s glowing with longhaired, leather-fisted, all ovah badassery in the tender shadows of those overgrown magic mushrooms. And HOLY HEMSWORTH. Just gaze into the taut ’n’ tanned face of Mr. Chris Hemsworth for a minute. It’s a little trance-inducing with that faint widow’s peak and layer upon layer of suede and leathAH heritage clothing all buttoned up to the chin hairs. Why did everything suddenly start spinning? Oh, because I’m PASSING OUT.

Let’s deconstruct K Loveliness’s outfit. She’s most definitely wearing leather gloves that extend all the way past her elbows. This is a look we want to adopt RIGHT NOW because not only does it look kewl, it allows you to wear short sleeves in the winter without getting cold. I’m flipping out over these puffed and pleated sleeves too. They’re old school fairy-tale times in the best possible way and flatter arms like nobody’s biz. Also, the length of this dress (is it leather or suede?) is perfect and the color works with every skin tone. Is that a lacey tulle underlay barely peeking out of the bottom? Ohhh, yes, it is, and it really helps to feminize the overall look while also complementing the romance of the sleeves. I’m going to scream if those are really leather leggings underneath this forest warrior princess getup. GAH! I think they are! It’s all sooooo good, y’all.

Also, is it just me or does the forest look like an earthier version of Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland? Digggin’ it. Throw a murder of crows into ANYTHING and I want to see it. Crows make everything dark, creepy, and AWESOME. They’re very Edgar Allan Poe meets Brandon Lee in THE CROW meets Halloween decor that looks good in your casa all year-round. This whole flouncy mushroom and swirly forest flower ambience has me thinking that this woodsy look is going to be BIG for fall next year too (even though Snow White and the Huntsman comes out in the summer). Oh, we haven’t mentioned Charlize Theron as the wicked Queen yet. Um, helllllooooo GORGEOUS! Her tightly twisted hair of spun gold looks fantastic next to that mega-high feather collar, and the kohl-rubbed eyes are an evening look you can steal now. All in all, I’m breathless and heart fluttery over this new poster and will start practicing Kristen’s TRIPLE BRAID action immediately while also searching for anything in olive leather. Gloves and leggings included.

Chris Hemsworth, Kristen Stewart, and Charlize Theron in “Snow White and the Huntsman.”
Photo: Courtesy of Universal Pictures

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