Karl Lagerfeld at the Chanel Spring 2012 Paris Fashion Week show; Karl Lagerfeld-designed snow globe for Sephora.
This is so weird. My Uncle Karl (aka Karl Lagerfeld, not to name-drop or anything) hasn’t been returning my phone calls lately. I mean, he’s a really busy man, what with being the king of Chanel, running his own signature line of products, taking photos of Florence Welch on the weekend, and also enjoying a ginormous library of art books at his home palace in Paris (which I sometimes fantasize about living amongst while wearing an interlocking C’s silk robe, metallic cap-toe shoes, and subsisting on a diet of nothing but mini Marie Antoinette cakes). It’s really strange that I haven’t seen him since he walked the runway of his underwater-themed Spring 2012 show, his delicate white ponytail dancing upon the phosphorescent breeze. I was clicking around the internet while not waiting for his phone call (or a random delivery of, oh, a cross shoulder quilted bag or, say, some discontinued nail polish that he may or may not have tested on his own jewel-adorned fingers), and I came across something so HORRIFYING, so wonderfully beautiful and scientifically JARRING that I don’t really know what to say. You guys, someone shrank my Uncle Karl and trapped him in a snow globe full of gold flakes. *HYPERVENTILATING*
Whew, I’m hallucinating again (which sometimes happens when I miss Kaiser Karl too much or when I try to drink as many diet colas as he does in an hour). It seems as if Karl Lagerfeld and Sephora are releasing a line of holiday accessories, including this gold-flecked snow globe featuring a silhouette of the designer. There will also be a line of cosmetics that includes eye shadow and lipstick. I don’t know about you, but I need the holidays to HURRY UP, and I need Santa to fit this globe into my stocking along with the entire line. Oh, WAIT. Oh, nooooo. These products are only available in Europe and Singapore? Zut alors! Santa needs to make some international deliveries then. And he needs to bring me my Uncle Karl, even in miniature doll form.