Amber Heard, Please Wear Less Clothes (We Mean That In A Good Way)

Amber Heard at the “The Rum Diary” New York premiere and at the Hollywood Film Awards in Beverly Hills, California.
Photo: Getty Images

There’s no refuting that Amber Heard is gorgeous in a classic, old Hollywood way. She’s GORGE period. Her platinum blonde mane flows like a crystalline glacial waterfall down her back or in dancing rivulets over her shoulder. She appears to have been born with permanent smize eyes, and her red carpet smile can crush souls with or without bright pink lipstick. There’s really nothing to critique…except for some recent dress choices that—while beautiful in their own right—seem almost too old Hollywood for this burgeoning 25-year-old ingenue. Don’t get us wrong, we adore a good gown, one that makes us gasp at its audacity or a classic showstopper that’s accessorized in an interesting way. But lately, Amber looks as if she’s caught in a fashion purgatory somewhere between starlet and leading lady, and she’s caught in this wailing banshee fash-cavern all covered up. We wonder if, perhaps (stay with us here), she should wear less clothes?

At the New York premiere of The Rum Diary, Amber wore a perfectly stunning black Jean Paul Gaultier dress that would be just as at home on Lauren Bacall (circa NOW). There’s nothing wrong with this dress at all, it’s just that it covers her from head to toe and is so opaque that it’s a bit overwhelming and somehow not age-appropriate. It’s not like we want her to saunter down the press line in a sparkly minidress and teetering heels, but you can’t see her Jimmy Choos under this mega-long length, and it’s a bit too somber for someone with such a sunny disposition. The same could be said for the two-tone teal green Roksanda Ilincic dress she wore to the Hollywood Film Awards. Again, nothing wrong with the dress per se, but it’s way too long (so long that it has a mini train pooling around her feet), and the oversized sleeves and deep V are ill-fitting atop her bodice. We’re big fans of young ladies who keep it classy, but there’s a fine line between timeless elegance and septuagenarian chic. When you’re this young and effortlessly refined, you can wear something that is more formfitting or that shows a bit of skin and still keep your dignity. Something more along the lines of this. Still, you’re BEAUTIFUL, Amber. Please, don’t change (any other) thing.

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