The Top WTF Headgear From London Fashion Week

Britons love their millinery like they love eating canned legumes swimming in phlegmy tomato sauce on toast. And while we do maintain that Philip Treacy is a genius (despite the giggle-fracas stirred by Princess Beatrice’s hat at the Royal Wedding), we gotta say, some of the headgear from London Fashion Week (which ended yesterday) is beyond HILARZ. Let’s take a gander at some of our favorites.

ANGRY BIRDS AT GILES

Giles show at London Fashion Week Spring 2012 on Sept. 19, 2011.
Photo: Antonio de Moraes Barros Filho/WireImage

At Giles (sidenote: I LOVE Giles Deacon and consider him to be a STAR, and I loved his work at JCDC), we saw a parade of feathers and some truly exceptional, dramatic silhouettes and interesting layering techniques. But this? This writhing, blood-red swan atop some poor model’s dome after all that avian imagery we’ve had for the last YEAR from Black Swan? It feels a little done. Totally makes me wish it were a puffin.

SPLINTERED RESORT SOMBRERO AT MARIOS SCHWAB

Marios Schwab show at London Fashion Week Spring 2012 on Sept. 18, 2011.
Photo: Photo: Gareth Cattermole/Getty Images

There was the urban sombrero, as popularized by the cover of the J. Peterman catalog in Seinfeld, and then there was the splintered resort sombrero at Marios Schwab that would be the ultimate in SPF protection were it not for the constant threat of straw stabbing your cornea.

BOOK SMARTS AT KINDER AGGUGINI

Kinder Aggugini show at London Fashion Week Spring 2012 on Sept. 20, 2011.
Photo: Tim Whitby/Getty Images

God, these models at Kinder Aggugini look sad. And why wouldn’t they? Nothing about this doesn’t look like punishment. At least penance for slouching looks elegant. Striding down the runway vomming your guts up from eating a pack of cigarettes because your sadist dad caught you smoking feels like a fall trend.

SHREDDED AND CRUMPLED AT LOUISE GRAY

Louise Gray show at London Fashion Week Spring 2012 on Sept. 19, 2011.
Photo: Tim Whitby/Getty Images

This just looks lazy. I typically enjoy Louise Gray’s eccentric mishmash but not even for a child would I humor them into thinking this was a good hat. It’s just not. No, YOU have a little respect. And of course I’m going to her V&A Postmodernism exhibition this fall. I’m not an animal.

BROADSHEET BULLYING AT DANIELLE SCUTT

Danielle Scutt show at London Fashion Week Spring 2012 on Sept. 20, 2011.
Photo: Ian Gavan/Getty Images

I liked the sleek, stiff-collared androgyny at Danielle Scutt but I don’t completely understand what’s going on here. Part of me wants to say that she looks like a Japanese fishmonger, what with the tightly bound white cotton swim cap situation, so the newspaper throws me. What is this, East meeting West given that fish and chips are typically slung in broadsheets? I’m seriously asking. So. Baffling. Also, distracting.

HUMAN Q-TIP AT OSMAN

Osman show at London Fashion Week Spring 2012 on Sept. 20, 2011.
Photo: Ian Gavan/Getty Images

AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHA. What? OK. Do you. But, also, COME ON!

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