Joe Jonas performing at Saks Fifth Avenue for Fashion’s Night Out on Sept. 9.
Photo: Getty Images
We’re obviously creepily obsessed with Joe Jonas, so when we found out he was performing (FOR FREE. OUT IN THE WILD.) at Saks Fifth Avenue on Fashion’s Night Out we knew EXACTLY where our first stop that night was going to be. It was there. On the seventh floor. On a slowwww elevator ride packed with tweens ¾ our age (and ½ our height). When we arrived, we were greeted with a long line of wide-eyed girls with their camera phones ready in their bangle-stacked hands awaiting any sign of a Jo Bro. (Fashion highlight while waiting in line? SPARKLY LEOPARD RAIN BOOTS.)
After being ushered in multiple times by security, we finally made our way right up to the stage (but apparently our platforms were a problem for the youngins: *shoulder tap* “Um, ma’am? Can I stand in front of you because you’re so tall?” *death stare from her mom 3 feet away* “Yeah… sure…” Also, being called ma’am makes us 1,000 years old, which garnered me even MORE death stares. Thanks for blowing our cover, kid.). But finally, after a short word from designer Simon Spurr, Joe Jonas made his appearance. And when we say “appearance,” we mean 58 seconds of blood-curdling screams. Like, literally it sounded as if 50 murders were simultaneously happening all around us and our brains immediately went into panic mode trying to scramble together everything we learned in that gosh darn CPR training class. But then—Joe appeared. Like a glowing beacon of hope. A bright, gorgeous, nicely chiseled, adorable light in the darkness. He was wearing head-to-toe duds from Simon himself—a fitted black suit paired with a blue and white striped polo, and my GOD he melted us with those arm moves where he pretends to reach out for us, clasps a cup of air, and then takes it straight into his chest. Basically, Joe wooed us all into some crazy trance that made us forget how tired/sweaty/uncomfortably close we all were and, like, he TOTALLY AND OBVIOUSLY serenaded right to us. No seriously, he sang right at us. So. Yeah. WE HAD A GOOD TIME. Joe Jonas + fashion makes our hearts melt. And, in case you’re wondering, YES he’s flawless in real life too. Also, we’re dating now.