Vinny is your “Jersey Shore” Style Champ of the night.
Photo: Getty Images
It’s no secret that Vinny Guadagnino is the resident King of Graphic Tees amongst the cast members of Jersey Shore. And tonight’s episode was no exception. But Vinny reigns champion tonight, not merely due to his extensive crew-neck collection or the aplomb with which he wields it, but ALSO because he is a benevolent roommate with a kind and well-discerning heart—crowned by Ronnie this episode as a kind of “Dr. Phil” of the house for all the sage wisdom he doles out to the rest of the dudes.
He calms Ronnie down, helping him realize he’s long overdue for some introspection, something many others tried but failed to do. But I meannn, how could you not take the advice of such a dapper don as this? Wide color-blocked stripes are not fodder for the casual sartorialist or someone less than deliberate. Sure, this is casual wear, but when words of wisdom escape the lips of a man wearing THIS, you know he means business.
Don’t get it twisted. You may THINK he’s mean-mugging you, but he’s just drinking in all your words and filtering them through his net of morality and sound judgment. Also, he has a lady printed in gradient on his chest to make you feel more at ease. Aren’t her earth-tone colors calming? We think so.
In the club, there’s no need to remove the sunnies. The sun never sets when you’re Vinny Guadagnino. Plus, you need to stay looking fresh to death if you’re going to convince Pauly he’s better than letting some rando dude instigate a brawl. WHICH HE DOES. Like The Blowout Whisperer. Or something. Yes.
And he rounds out the ep in a message tee reading “Live Fast” and presumably “Die Young” below the shot. OK, we’re not sure how smart THAT advice is, but maybe he means it in an ironic sort of way, like, “LOL guys, I’m usually the moral compass around here, but how funny is it that I’m wearing this??” Either way, red’s such a darling color on you, Vinny, and we’re so glad to have picked you as our Style Champ. *bats eyelashes*