Taylor Lautner Glistens In VMAN Magazine

Taylor Lautner for VMAN.
Photo: Courtesy of Steven Klein/VMAN Magazine

Umm. Wow. Just… Excuse me, while I catch my breath. Because even though this is a greyscale image, I am totally cripplingly entranced by this visage of Taylor Lautner on the cover of VMAN. I mean, it’s black-and-white, but there is just SO much angular face structure and glistening man-tensity (a hybrid of “man” and “intensity,” obviously) and Tyra-approved SMIZE that my brain is exploding all over itself. Like, honestly, I CANNOT rip my line of sight from its current fixated gaze deep into those steely smoldering eyes, as if he’s sending me telepathic messages in a foreign language – I hear it, but I don’t understand… For this September Issue of VMAN, the “Archetype” issue, Taylor assumes the role of “The Idol,” which is all very fitting since, I mean, who really looks like this?! Physics? Biology? What? Does not compute.

Taylor Lautner for VMAN.
Photo: Courtesy of Steven Klein/VMAN Magazine

Believe it or not, he’s all real. Not that anyone was actually questioning that. But you can go back and rent The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl, and you’ll see. Those cheekbones have always been there. It’s the abs and rampant shirtlessness that’s new. Not that we’re complaining. Because we’re NOT. It was the abs that reined us in, but that hypnotic face is what will make us stay.

Taylor Lautner for VMAN.
Photo: Courtesy of Steven Klein/VMAN Magazine

We can’t quite put our fingers on Tay’s je ne sais quoi that makes us associate him with danger. In interviews, he seems like just the sweetest little angel. So kind. So smiley. But you watch Twilight and he’s always shirtless and fixing cars and growling and you BELIEVE IT! We know it’s just a character, but even looking at pictures like this one – of Taylor as TAYLOR, not Jacob – it makes our hair stand on end a little bit. Admittedly, that could also just be due to the spiky nature of his ’do.

Taylor Lautner for VMAN.
Photo: Courtesy of Steven Klein/VMAN Magazine

Here Tay looks a little more vulnerable. He looks to the ground with a bit of a forlorn expression. His brow sodden and glistening. Is something wrong Taylor? Is it that you’re perplexed at how there can be so many origins of light pointed at you? Because we were wondering about that, too. How can we help? Can we take you in like a little wounded bird? Bandage you up? Fix you some tea?

Taylor Lautner for VMAN.
Photo: Courtesy of Steven Klein/VMAN Magazine

Tay seems to have gotten his strength back, standing shoulders open and rippling abdomen barely contained beneath a Giorgio Armani snakeskin blazer. His hair is also more streamlined. Clearly his evening look. He has his sights set on a lady across the fence, and he WILL be taking her to dinner to night. You CANNOT eff with the determination behind those eyes. *dreamy half-jealous sigh*

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