Pantsless Taylor Momsen Plus Topless Fans Equal Outfit

Taylor Momsen performs with The Pretty Reckless in Barcelona, Spain, on July 6.
Photo: Getty Images

Good Lord. All right, *girds loins* I realize that The Pretty Reckless and Taylor Momsen have some seriously devoted fans for a variety of perfectly valid reasons, but I can’t help but be concerned about the increasingly debauched images that surface after one of her shows. I mean, we’ve joked ad infinitum that “No Pants Momsen” is wearing sheer leggings or very short shorts or some sort of smock that falls just shy of being a legitimate dress, and that she is therefore, “not wearing pants,” but here she is wearing a T-shirt, boots and underwear.

And this isn’t even the half of it. Well, it’s exactly half of it because, WHY AREN’T HER FANS WEARING SHIRTS???

Taylor Momsen performs with The Pretty Reckless in Barcelona, Spain, on July 6.
Photo: Getty Images

I realize that due to climate change this summer is particularly—strangers’ face-stabbingly—hot. And judging from the cute and highly truncated shortjorts of her fans, these concertgoers were dressed for the scorching temperature. But how did they go from dressed to damn-near nude? I’m happy that they’re wearing bras (the same could not be said for TayMom who is giving us plenty of side-boob), but how does an entire roomful of reasonable girls go from wearing tops to flinging them off. What transpired?

Does Taylor ask them to and they oblige? If you play The Pretty Reckless backward do they suggest that wearing an entire outfit smacks of lemming-like obeisance and unoriginality? Is it like barfing or yawning, where if someone does it in your field of vision, you’re compelled to mimic it? Is it that they are actually just having a screaming good time and feel entirely empowered and fierce but I am TOO DAMN OLD to remember things like happiness and fun? All I know is that just to be safe if I should EVER find myself in the proximity of Taylor that I should expect to lose my shirt and I’d better be wearing an outside bra.

P.S.: Is Taylor really thin to where other people are worried? I’m sorry to add a serious note as a postscript but, like, I can’t tell if I’m just wearing my “wet blanket” hat.