Whoa. American Flag Lips Are So Crazy Patriotic That They Should Come With A Few Disclaimers

American flag-colored lips.
Photo: Courtesy of Violent Lips

So, you’re getting ready to go to your friend’s Fourth of July BBQ, and you’re all, “SHOOT. I don’t have anything red, white OR blue to wear. Well, there’s always this: American flag lip tattoos. Yeah, I know, I know. It’s not the TRADITIONAL route to go on Independence Day, but dude, YOUR LIPS HAVE A FREAKING FLAG ON THEM. UUUHHH-MERRRR-CAA! Like, no matter WHAT anyone else wears, you’re going to be the star (LITERALLY) of the show. No one’s bajillion dollar stars and stripes Jeffrey Campbell Litas can compare to this. Plus, for only $15, what could go wrong with this look?! Well, a few things actually.

If you plan to cop this style, we just wanted to give you a little, erm, forewarning about possible problems that might arise from this DARING lip tattoo trend.

1.) Your S.O./crush might not kiss you. Like, for the entirety of the time that you wear it. Dudes are scared of LIP GLOSS, ladies. There’s no way in heck they’re going near a lip tat.
2.) From far away, it kind of looks like you got punched in the mouth. IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT THEY DESIGNED THE FLAG WITH THE BLUE IN THE UPPER LEFT CORNER LIKE THAT.
3.) Let’s be honest, you can’t NOT eat at a BBQ. With all those finger-lickin’ good foods, you’re going to be scarfing down one chicken wing after another. But hey, remember your lips are partially white. White + brown sauce = poo-colored lips. WATCH OUT.
4.) You can’t smile. Or talk. FOR THE ENTIRE DAY. You’ll ruin the aesthetic. Nah, we’re just kidding. You can, but NOT IN PICTURES. We’re serious about that. Look up at that pic. She’s serious too.

Sporting this American flag lip tat is AWESOME and everyone will be so jeals of you on the Fourth, but you must know what comes with the territory. Excellence has a cost, ladies.