A still of Joe Jonas’ ’See No More’ music video.
All Photos Courtesy of Hollywood Records
Yea yea yea, we talk about this dude a LOT. But, like, sorry Joe Jonas (a) is having the run of his life right now, (b) dresses like a boss, and (c) is really really REALLY flippin’ hot. Relax, peeps, he’s turning 22 this August, which makes him totally fair game. But how did we miss this metamorphosis happening right under our noses? One minute he was just the Jo Bro with the great eyebrows and luxurious dark side-swept hair (and we say “just” because at that time, we were going through our “Hmph, [insert beloved childhood such and such] is for babies!!” phase to prove ourselves ready to be “grown-ups” — what a joke), and the next, he’s this well-dressed man-boy with perfect facial scruff, leaping in fine vestments and magazines, winning our cold ladyhearts.
Though gone are the days of “Burnin Up” (for now, at least), he’s keeping up this pyro thing in his music video for his very first solo single “See No More.” He secures his spot as a serious solo act with an expert execution of breathy low notes, appropriately pained-sounding belts, and a perfect lady-wooing storm of wounded bird meets grab-you-by-the-waist fervor. Not content with merely watching the vid, we’ve broken it down. Look by soft-lipped puppy-dog-eyed look…
LONELY FURNITURE-LESS JOE
Dear Joe, where is all of your furniture? Do you really expect us to believe you have only one chair? No tables? No lamps? Not even a set of blinds to your name?? Oh, right. You’re really sad because that girl left you. And you broke all the dishes and threw everything out. Except that delicious Simon Spurr suit. That was a great save.
HEINOUS SHOE CRIME
WHOA WHOA WHOA. HEY now, and HOLD ON just a dadgum doggone SECOND. Who signed off on such a heinous shoe crime!??! You set fire to a Loubou? Are you LOCO, ese???
Oh, Simon Spurr. You done done it again with these shiny suit pants. They look almost leather, but they move with Joe’s body *pause for daydream* in a way that leather never could. NOM. And thank you. For your fine tailoring and understanding of the male form. *second pause*
MAN-CLEAVE IS… ATTRACTIVE?!
Hooooooly clavicle! Is that man-cleave?! Do we… actually like it? This must be what it’s like to be a boy because wowwwwee wowEE. This Rogue deep scoop tank is doing a lot of favors. Also, the peaked skinny lapel of this impeccable suit jacket. Approved.
STUCCO WALL CASUAL TIMES
Wearing another Rogue piece, Joe strips himself of the (more-)formalwear and dons a soft gray V-neck tee with a subtle chain symbolizing his freedom from the stuffy burden of that house and all the painful memories of that hussy who broke his heart. That or the fire made him sweaty, and that was his only change of clothes unscathed by his arson. Either way, mama like.
No new fashion here. Just a final soft focus parting shot of our favorite Jo Bro backlit by the setting(/rising??) sun. Walking toward the camera. Toward, you know. Us. Is it hot in here?!??
+ WATCH THE FULL ’SEE NO MORE’ VIDEO BELOW!!!