Usher at Surprise Oprah! A Farewell Spectacular in Chicago on May 17, 2011, and Pippa Middleton in London on April 30, 2011.
Photo: Getty Images
Oh yeah. Rub your eyes. Pinch yourself. Go ahead and double-check your calendar, but this is far from an April Fools’ joke. Usher, in this very real life we’re all living, wants to launch a brand spankin’ (had to) new lingerie line with the bootylicious Miss Pippa Middleton. He was quoted in the Daily Star newspaper as saying, “I don’t think there’s a more beautiful, more stunning, more talked about woman in the world at the moment…I’m sure everybody is trying to sign her up. She won’t be cheap, but she has the looks and the popularity to really establish a new product.” Whoa. No playing around with Usher Raymond. The man’s all business.
Pippa Middleton’s rump on June 9, 2011.
Photo: Getty Images
Hmmm… I mean, we kind of get it, I guessss. Pippa’s super hot with an undeniably rockin’ bod. And those pics of her dancing in a bra with that dude in boxers wound her up with a $5 million porn film proposition from Steve Hirsch, so we get the whole underwear connection. And Usher, of course, has a smokin’ bod himself and the commerce smarts to snatch up a golden opportunity like Justin Bieber in its infancy (the opportunity’s, that is, we believe Biebs was at least eating solid foods by then). But let’s be real here. Is it just us, or is this duo BEYOND strange? It’s like crumping meets crumpets in a very Save The Last Dance – Part: 2 way which means it’s less charming and plus capitalism. Can you imagine the commercials or print ads for this? Our brains just. can’t. compute. But who knows? We could be totally wrong, and if they do get together to do business, it’ll be, like, the Justin Bieber of panties. And we’ll be lining up for blocks and screaming bloody murder for them and crying a little alone in our rooms about how we’ll never end up with them because they love Selena Gomez more than us. We’re talking about underwear, right??