A Study: Hipster Cats In Hipster Outfits

Portlandia cat wearing a green hoodie.
Photo: Getty Images

We know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking we’re beyond exhausted and likely tripping balls and tasting sounds and smelling colors in the aftermath of the 2011 Movie Awards and you’d be right. As such there wasn’t anything more inviting than the prospect of staring at anthropomorphized kittehs to soothe our frayed (wailing/bleeding) nerves, and that place is Getty Images, where all of these cats live, waiting to tell us a story about paws and claws and subcultures. So, yeah, just… hold us. Want hardboiled FASHNEWS, feel free to comb through our archives. Namely, this video of Vogue Nippon’s Anna Dello Russo dancing like a skittish mule. But yeah, we thought a brief respite from Red Carpet trends might be a welcome treat. Ergo, this.


Irono-school girl cat.
Photo: Getty Images

Don’t let the coquettish silhouette, the plaid, oversized bowtie with a Peter Pan collar, and the saucer-sized innocent eyes fool you. It’s not so much that she ascribes to this aesthetic to indicate sweetness, this is just a canny play to look markedly divergent from the distressed short-jorts and tasseled boots of her summer hipster lady compatriots. Her pens are pretty good though.


Emo cat is sad.
Photo: Getty Images

Emo cat is at a show. For a band that is performing at a public school. A band for which the drummer is the girl he once loved and lost. Emo cat is basically Scott Pilgrim. Emo cat wears yellow because it is the most cheerful color and he is the least cheerful cat and cats love irony. When he cries it sounds like music. In fact he’s writing a chord progression based on his own heartache. Too bad his band sucks.


Hipster cat riding his moped through the city.
Photo: Getty Images

OK, now this may well be readily filed into ’NO’ but is it me or this cat WAY Chinese? Let’s just be clear here. MTV Style is not in the business of racially profiling animals because if we were we’d be MILLIONAIRES but the chinoiserie cape, the bonnet, and the plasticky bike seat just screams Chinatown. This cat is either a badass Asian dude who’s into things like mopeds and irono-drifting OR one of those non-Asian kids who just always wear embroidered satin and have a weird thing for standing collars and chopsticks in their hair. A.K.A. a frickin’ hipster.


In an outfit of her own creation.
Photo: Getty Images

Sure we’ve painted ourselves into a corner of profiling the cats by their various states of habillage but can we just talk about how this is SO the feline equivalent of sad Etsy boyfriends? Seriously. So cute though. What can you do? We are HIGHER THAN YOU ON THE PECKING ORDER, cat. Sorry. Not really. So cute!


Hubristic intelligentsia cat looks down his nose at you for being so bougie and middling and not eating locally.
Photo: Getty Images

Pretentious intelligentsia cat hasn’t eaten a non-heirloom legume in 10 years. He would rather peel his face off than go to Starbucks and he scoffs every time he elects to quiz you on the capital cities of ALL the African countries. He is also good at equations and doesn’t leave the house without his chalkboard filled with reasonable solutions to the universe’s shortcomings so that he can be sure to hang it up in the background whenever his picture is taken. He’s really good at baking but he is also a real prick. And his glasses have no lenses.